Black 2 Finale; Part 1: Team Plasma Strike Back

Lacunosa Town

I approached Dumbass and found him locked in confrontation with Zinzolin and another Plasma Grunt. Zinloin tells us that he joined Plasma because he wanted to see the world change and for all trainers to realise there Pokémon.
Dumbass tells him to shut up and talks about. In fact guess what he talks about.
a) Political Satire
b) Quiz Shows
c) His sisters Purlion
d) My rocking hair style.
If you chose anything but c) I laugh at you.

Dumbass and myself then team up to battle Zinloin and his grunt. We defeat his arm of Cryognal with Ember and Embour.
Zinloin complains that we were too strong and runs off to Opelucid City, Dumbass follows them.

Route 12

There was a lot of grass here. I entered some more shaky grass and again came across a rare Grass type; Roserade. I caught him and named him Rosie and Jim before he was sent to the box. Battle some more trainers (including a cool looking Herocross) and came upon the realisation that Garbadour is a Tangrowth without the vines.

Village Bridge

This was a large bridge with a small village built into and around it. Here I battled some more trainers, including a chef with a Heatmoor and an old dude who had beaten 999 trainers in a row. Both battles were tough but at least Ember learnt Sunny Day as a result.

Found some grass under the bridge, still really needed a water type so I crossed my fingers. It sadly turned out to be a Zangoose. Discovered that Zangoose is archenemies with Seviper so I called it Seviper just to mess with it. I then came upon a Golduck…..the Water type I needed. And then another one. The game was quite literally trolling me.

Battled some more trainers on some basketball and tennis courts, then we left for the next Route.

Route 11

This was a large bridge over some dark grass; the first person I met here was a Pokémon Breeder. I had a feeling that I would be seeing her a lot.

Entered the dark grass hoping for a Water Pokémon, what I got instead was a Seviper……the poetic justice was actually hurting me.
Called the Seviper Zangoose. So just to clarify I had a Zangoose called Seviper and a Seviper called Zangoose. Not confusing at all.
Battled the breeder again and went to edit my team.

Retirement

For type coverage I decided to retire two of my Pokémon as the next Gym would probably be really tough.
1) Doctor Coo Jr. Yes, once again I put her back into the box as I wanted to replace her with a better Flying type. Water Type the Swablu. As I needed a Dragon when she evolved, really sorry Doctor Coo.
2) Weedlepie. I retired my favourite Pokémon because he was starting to become obsolete as I had a much better grass type. At least my old friend would not die this way.

Route 11

Battled the Breeder again and discovered that Duke Knots defence was so high that moves like take down did more damage in recoil then they did to him.

Then battled some more Rangers and Breeders before a large Legendary dog jumped out of the grass I front of me. I could not be arsed to battle it at this point so I walked around and headed into Opelucid City.

Opelucid City

It had taken me a while but I had finally made it to Opelucid city, the city itself was all blue and futuristic. The first person I met was Irirs again from way back at Castellia City. She told me that her Grandfather was the Gym Leader, even though they weren’t related and that I should go to Route 9 first before battling him. I thanked her for the advice I started exploring the city.

In this city I met a crazy guy with lots of Tympole, played a stupid mimic game, was given a smoke ball, discovered that the gym Leader Dreydon was also the mayor and told an old man that I did not want any of his props.

Route 9

This route was small with a very large shop in the centre of it. Just before the shop was some grass, there I caught myself a Liepard, which to be honest was a waste of a Pokeball, I called her Lyer.

Outside the shop were a lot of tough thugs who wanted to battle, I took them on with Duke Knott and Water Type who evolved into an Altaria and learnt Dragon Breath.
I also let Seviper the Zangoose try his first battle. It was a double one against a Krookodile and a Drapion. He died before he even got a chance to attack. Well wasn’t he useless.

R.I.P Seviper; Zangoose. Level 43-43.

I welcomed Weedlpie back to the team. It seems as though we were meant to be together.

After battling everyone I went into the shop and was shocked to see that everyone was now attacking me. This was a shop! Not a battlefield!

After beating the shoppers I purchased some Quick Balls and a TM for Hyper Beam. Now it was time to train up my team for the gym battle.

Grinding

I gave Water Type a Lucky Egg to raise its Exp. and repeatedly went to the Breeder from Route 11 and battled her Emolga and Altaria again and again and again until my team was roughly around level 45 and Water Type was level 48. She also learnt the move Dragon Pulse.

Opelucid Gym

It was finally time to battle the gym. I met the Shady guy who told me that the gym used Dragon types and that I also had to ride the giant dragon statues to get to Dreydon who lived at the top of the gym. I also would have a choice of what trainer to battle depending on their battling methods.
I mentally prepared myself. I knew that this gym would be tough.

My first choice was Rotation Battle or Triple. I choice Rotation. Everything was going well, that was until an Axew scored a critical hit against Nikalum and killed him.
“Nooooo!!!! Not Nikalum!!!” I screamed. That made him the third Pokémon I had lost to a blasted Axew!! I did not understand. They weren’t even that tough. I ordered Duke Knott to finish up the rest of the battle.

Good bye Nikalum, you were one of my coolest looking and awesome Pokémon. Who now will I ride into battle?

R.I.P Nikalum: Galvantula; Level 26-43.

I knew that the gym would be tough but I did not think it would be this tough. I left for Route 11 and trained Water Type to level 50! I needed all the help I could get. I also took Doctor Coo back out of the box. Hello again my angry bird friend.

I braced myself and challenged the hardest Gym Leader in the game. The battle was tough, Water Type killed his Druddigon with a Dragon Pulse but was no match for his Flygon. I needed Duke Knott’s defence.
I used the time brought by Duke Knott to heal up Water Type, then I brought him out, he took a Dragon Tail to the face but survived and was swapped for Doctor Coo! Luck for me Doctor Coo brought down the Flygon.

Now all that was left was the leaders Haxorus, his toughest Pokémon. Sadly I had to sacrifice Doctor Coo Jr so that Water Type could be healed up! Please forgive me Doctor Coo.

Doctor Coo Jr was killed in a single hit. Out came Water Type who took a dragon attack and barley survived. Water type used Dragon Pulse and it survived with 1HP GAHHH!!!
I knew that Water Type was slower so it wouldn’t be able to get in another attack, but I had no choice. But then for some reason Water Type attacked first killing the beast. We Won! And it felt great!

Dreyden gave me my badge and the TM for Dragon tail, I met him outside to talk about the Dragon Pokémon the Professor wanted me to find out about. But first I had to do something.

Opelucid City

R.I.P Dr Coo Jr; Unfezant. Level 30-42.

Was that burst of speed Doctor Coo using her speed to help me from the afterlife? I guess we will never know. Good bye Doctor Coo, I hope to meet you a third time.

I then put Zangoose the Seviper on my team hoping to soon replace him.

I followed Dreydon to his house; he tells me about the legendary Pokémon and the DNA splicer which he looks after.
Then we hear a large boom outside his house, we go outside to see a large airship. It starts firing large beams of Ice at the City freezing it. Dreydon tries to use his Haxorus to break the ice but it’s too hard.
Then the Plasma leader Zinloin approaches us and demands the DNA splicer, Dreyden refuses and Zinloin says he will attack him with the ice zapper once it has been recharged.

Dreydon the asks me to help him drive Plasma out of the city, he charges off and takes three of them on at once. I then navigate across the frozen city battling different members of team Plasma with Weedlpie and Water Type.
I nearly lost Ember to a Plasmas Weezing but lucky for me Water Type absorbed the explosion.

Then I discovered that Plasma was attacking the gym, I ran over there and battled there leader Zinloin. He had two Cryognal and a Wealive. Really? For a guy who hates the cold he sure ha a lot of Ice Pokémon. Ember used Fire Punch and Larva Plume to kill all his Pokémon.
Zinloin then leaves as he hates the cold. But he then threatens to cover the whole region in ice if he didn’t get the DNA splicer. So his master plan is to cover the world in the one thing he hates?

Dreydon thanks me and gives me the DNA Splicer to look after once he heals my team. Then we are ambushed by the Shadow Triad who steal the splicer. Dreyden says we must steal it back and that I should give chase!

I find a member of the Shadow Triad blocking the city exit, all his Pokémon were weak against Ember so I had her Fire Punch them all. It was a disappointingly easy battle. However it turned out that this man was just a distraction allowing the other triad members to escape.
The triad member escaped and Dreydon came running up screaming that he had failed. Then Chren and Dumbass phoned, said they sure a big ship flying over the city and that they were coming to join us.
When they arrived, after some pointless small talk Chren explains that its cold near Humilau City and that is where Plasma must have gone to recharge there ship.
Chren tells me I’m a pretty good trainer and that they could use my assistance. Pretty good? I kicked this guy’s arse before now!

Undella Town

I made my way back to Undella Town (Route 11, Village Bridge, and Route 12.) Once here Dumbass called me up and told me to the Marine tunnel.

Marine Tube

This tunnel was a beautiful place that let me see Pokémon under water. Asides from this and women who gave me the TM for Facade there was little of interest here.

Humilau City

This city was a pretty cool and rocking town with a large beech and a huge section of it floating houses on rafts and walk ways. I was only here a few seconds before a ranger started mocking me for not having surf.
Then I met Dumbass outside the gym who told me I should beat the gym. Thanks Dumbass, not like I could have worked that out by this point.
Ovate Walter White tells me the gym leader does what he wants, moment s latter gym leader jumps out of the water and tell me that’s he’s sorry for making me look for him. I wasn’t even aware that I was looking for him! Apparently he was swimming with his Pokémon and is now going to head back to the gym. I had no idea what was going on.

Then I met an ultimate move tutor who was useless, a family obsessed with Stunfish, youngster Joey but as a girl and a lady who made me walk her Pokémon around the house for ages and then told me I didn’t do it enough so she kicked me out. What the hell is going on?
Then someone said for a Manitine he would give me a Tangrowth. This was the total reverse of what I needed, as I could have done with a water type! (Sorry about that Duke Knott.)

Route 22

I came here first to train for the gym. The first Pokémon I came across was (surprise, surprise,) not a water type. It was a Meinfoo. I caught it and named her Alice.

I then proceeded to train up my team for the gym battle. I assumed that it would be a water gym given the gym leader swimming. I needed to make sure that Duke Knott was at his best.

Asides from coming across lots of different water Pokémon which I could have used (Pelipper, Azumarill (Pika-Blue?) And Ember learning Flame Thrower, nothing much happened here so I headed towards the gym.

Humilau Gym

It took me much less time to make it to this gym then it did the last one, which was a relief. But before I entered I swapped out Seviper the Zangoose with Alice. She just seemed like a better Pokémon in general.
Shady guy gave me some water and told me that I had to push lily pads around the large pool in this gym to get to the leader. Great. More puzzles.

Came across the first gym trainer. He had a Manitine; I used Weedlpie as I believed his Grass typing would give him an advantage. His Manitine used Air Slash to my complete surprise, which sliced Weedlpie in two causing his death. I’m going to repeat that last bit. Weedlpie was sliced into causing his death. Weedlpie was dead…..my oldest friend who I had carried even since the start of this stupid quest was dead. GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THIS GYM! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL FOR THIS! HE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE LAST GYM!!!! HE WAS GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE END WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P Weedlpie; Leavanny. Level 2- 45.

I swore that I would have my revenge. I ordered Duke Knott to destroy ever Cool Trainer in the gym (which was weird, it was a water gym. Why not have swimmers and sailors instead of just Cool trainers? I mean the gym leader himself is even a swimmer!)

I replaced Weedlpie with Lyer on my team, HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE HE STOOD!

The Gym leader is called Marlon, and he’s a dark skinned surfer dude who’s totally stoned. Let’s battle!
First battle is between his Carracosta and Duke Knott, it would have been a one hit K.O for Duke Knott but Carracosta had the Sturdy ability. Finished off easily but not before it used Scald burning Knott and reducing his attack.

His Next Pokémon was a Wailord, whilst I healed up Knott and dealt with his burns he raised its defence and attack with moves like Amnesia. After few attacks did little damage I called Knot out of there and replaced him with my strongest Pokémon Water Type. She used Cotton Guard to raise defence and then I had her take down the Wailord by using…well Take Down.

Next came the hardest Battle, against his Jellicent and the last ever Gym Leader Pokémon battle!
I thought that Duke Knott would have an easy time, but its move Ominous Wind, did a ton of damage. Then the creature used its ability Cursed body to disable Knott’s Giga Drain rendering him useless!
I paralyzed it to buy Knott some more time, but the ominous wind moves really did a number on us. Then it burnt Knott with a Scald…again!
Knott was nearly dead, but then luckily Giga Drain was free from disability and I used it to gain back some health. That combined with the Leftovers I gave to Duke Knott meant that the Jellicent died from the attack and Knott wasn’t killed off by his burn!
We had won! I had beaten all eight of the Unova Gym leaders and it felt great!

Marlon gave me my Wave Badge and a TM for Scald before jumping out of a window and swimming off through the ocean. So long now!

Humilau City

After leaving the Gym Dumbass comes up to me and congratulates me before telling me I have to now defeat all Team Plasma before I can tackle the League. Blast!

Marlon then comes to us and tells us that he has no idea what Team Plasma is as he just swims in the sea all day. He then asks me if I think there bad, I say No and then he just talks jargon for a few minutes. Marlon then just walks off as Dumbass says he’s either really laid back or irresponsible.

Route 22

As Alice and Litterman were massively under-levelled I decided to train them here for a while. It wasn’t long before Lyer died battling two Anoongus. I could not care less to be honest; he was just cannon fodder anyway.

R.I.P Lyer; Liepard. Level 40-40

Then one of the other Legendary dog Pokémon jumped out a me but before I could battle him that horrid Colress guy came up and started to tell me the history of these Pokémon which I already knew. He asks if I will battle it as it is looking for strong trainers, I tell him that I will and he gives me a Colress machine. Then before he leaves he tells me that I should check out the cave on Route 21, I checked my map and discovered that I needed water Pokémon to Surf to this cave. Screw that I thought!

I battled the Legendary which was called Terrakion. I used Litterman to poison and drain him of his health. It soon died.
“That was for humans everywhere!” I said standing on his corpse.

Route 11

I returned here because I had forgotten I had not killed the other legendary dog! I had just let it sit here for ages! It was called Virizion and I battled it using Litterman again, only it was easier this time as it was a Grass type. It didn’t take long before it was dead. I had now finished off the three animals and avenged my ancestors! Back to Route 22 I went.

Route 22

After a number of close calls during trainer battles and wild Pokémon encounters (I hate Amoonguss!) I made it to a cave which was the entrance to the Giant Chasm.

Giant Chasm

Found new Pokemon in a Dust cloud. It was an Excadrill, catch it and named her Lady Mud . Discovered my route blocked by Plasma grunts and the only way to progress was to surf through Route 21. Sadly I still had not come across a water type so I realised I had to cheat.

Went out and caught a Golduck and taught it Surf. Called it tool.

Route 21

Used tool to surf around a bit, caught a new Pokémon. A Frillish, called him Thriller, then I realised the Golduck.

Surfed around this route battling trainers until I came across the Seaside Cave.

Seaside Cave

Dark gloomy, wet cave. Caught another Golduck and named him Not tool. Battled some interesting trainers, found out that Alice was a really good and tough Pokemon.
Little Alice even got to level 50 over taking half my team, then she evolved into a Mienshao. In the spirt of things she will be dead soon.

Undella Bay

Remember back when I wanted to visit this place! Got a new Pokemon, it was another Frillish, but this one was a girl. Called her Mrs Trill. Apart from this there was nothing here so went back to the Seaside cave.

Seaside Cave

Surfed around a bit and pushed a few big stones around and did some strength puzzles. Got the TM Toxic and taught it to Litterman.
There was a large group of Crustle, I used Corless’s machine and they moved. But then they started to attack me. So I had Ember use Flamethrower on it.
After fighting of the Corless’s machine broke.

Outside now and on a beach, Dumbass came running up behind me asking how were going to get onto the ship. Then gym leader Marlon pushes a big plank down that we can use to climb aboard. He won’t fight Plasma because he doesn’t know that they are bad, but he does want to help us. He then walks away. I can’t wait until I total forget about this character. Dumbass says he makes no sense. I totally agree with him for once!

Plasma Ship

A grunt attacks me with a Watchog because I removed his Crustle road block. Ember killed it with fire and then he ran away screaming. Then me and Dumbass start exploring the ship.
We went inside and entered a double battle with two grunts, as we charged Dumb Ass was all “you will feel my rage!”
After beating them they ran off saying that they had to protect some switches.
Turns out that to get to the main deck a power gate has to be turned off. Dumb Ass runs around looking for Purloin while I look for a way to turn off the gate.
Out on deck found another way below guarded by a sleeping grunt. We sneak past him.

Down below I met a grunt who says that he’s really a spy trying to defeat Plasma.
Dumbass asks him if he’s seen a Purloin. He says he hasn’t at which point Dumb Ass snaps at him that he sucks at his job before running away again. What a nice young man.

I then proceeded to storm Plasmas ship single handled, defeating Plasma grunts and turning on hidden switches as I went.
AT one point I triggered an alarm and a group of grunts came to dispatch me. Lucky for me I had Ember to battle them off for me.

Warp panels? Four Switches’? This was a Nintendo game alright!
As I battled through the ship Thriller evolved into a Jellicent which was a nice surprise. I also found a room with some beds in it where a Plasma Grunt let me heal my team……aren’t you meant to be stopping me instead of helping me?
After finding all the switches (and a magmaizer) I headed back to the security gate. There the Plasma Leader Zinzolin was waiting for me. He showed me that he had the Pokemon Kyurem locked below and that Plasma are using it to make there ice laser! Dumbass comes in and so does a random grunt once again we engaged in a double battle. I decided to use Alice for this battle on account that all his Pokemon were ice types and sucked against her.
After an easy battle we get some more back story about a Purloin before the Shadow Triad arrive and throw us over board.

We sit on the beach and watch as the ship grows wings and fly’s away. Then Chren arrives apologising for being late and says that the ship is heading for the Giant Chasm. You know. The place I just came from. He tells us that the only thing that can stop Kyurem is one of the Legendary Pokemon and one of the Heroes who command them. I don’t care and so me and Dumbass head back to the Giant Chasm.

Giant Chasm

When we get here we find a grunt telling the two blocking our way that there needed somewhere else. It turns out that this was the spy and that he’s doing this for the memory of King N. Dumbass says that we all have to stop Plasma, that way Lord N and this spy will no longer be seen as villains. How sweet.

Inside I surfed around a bit, found a TM for Ice beam used Strength a few times and eventually found my way outside.

In the centre of the Chasm I find that Rood is here with a bunch of Old Plasma grunts. They try talking sense to the New Team Plasma. Me and Dumbass watch. Rood says that some guy called Ghetsis only wanted to take over region and did not care about liberating Pokemon. They do not listen, Dumbass barges in and tell Rood to unleash their Pokemon. Suddenly a small war is happening and I’m caught up in it. I find myself facing a Weezing that exploded in Water Types face. Lucky for me she’s a string girl and takes the hit well.

After the battle Rood gives me some max revives. Thanks but there total useless in a Nuzlocke. Then Plasma call in back up, but Rood tells me that he will continue battling Plasma outside and that I should storm there ship which is parked nearby. He also says that Dumbasses Purloin is probably with the Shadow Triad.

With That Dumbass runs at the ship and I follow.

Plasma Ship

On board the ship I found that Dumbass had defeated all the trainers all ready. They were all covering on the ground crying. Who knew that Dumbass was such a force to be reckoned with?

Found my way to the deep parts of the ship. Once again I met the spy who talks some more about Lord N. Are you going to be another form of Dumbass? Only with Lord N taking the place of a Purloin?

Great! More puzzles! And Pipes! And Passwords! Why these people can’t just let me go to the Pokemon league already!!

I had been battling so long by this point that all of my Pokemon had run out of pp. Heck Litterman had run out back in the Chasm. I needed to find somebody to heal my team and quickly!

I found out the code by….guess what? Battling everybody of course. Whilst doing so Thriller had evolved from a HM slave to a valuable member of the team, Alice became one of my best Pokemon although her Defence was very low. She basically had to kill everything before they could get a hit in.

I also found a random doctor here who healed my team after I beat him. I don’t know what’s happening any more.

Type the code into the machine (I was Zekrom.) And once again I come face to face with Zinzolin. He tells me that stopping me now is a mercy. Out comes his ice Pokemon again and out comes Alice. And all his Pokemon fall down dead!
“What beaten again!” He says “but never fear I shall have the last laugh!” And then he….well he just stands there. Yeah. Weird. I sneak past him and take a warp panel up to the ships control room.

In the control room. Shock! Its Corless! He joined Plasma to help fund his research on Pokemon power and now he wants to battle me. Considering how difficult our last battle together was I was not looking forward to this.

This was one of the most annoying battles in history, with lots of steel types using the ability sturdy and paralysing my team. His Magnazone killed Thriller whilst I healed Ember (she was the only one who could battle these things and Thriller was my most expendable Pokemon while I healed her.) Eventually the battle was over and I could not care less about what this Corless guy had to say. Blah blah strength, Pokemon, it was all just the same crap again and again. I was really starting to hate this part of the game. Why does this whole bit about Team Plasma have to go on for so long!

I take the next warp panel and end up in some evil dude’s main office. He then starts talking about how useless Corless is. Dude I total agree with you! The guys an Arse hole!
He then starts a big evil speech about how he will rule the world. This guy’s pretty square and wearing some tatty cloak.
Then the shadow triad come in and “Kyurem and been moved Lord Ghetisis.”
Gasp so this is the evil leader of Plasma! He then teleports out of the office to oversee things but not before leaving the Shadow Triad to deal with me and Dumbass who come running in.
Dumbass demands that they give him back his Purloin. Shadow guy then shows Dumbass a Liepard that he stole five years ago. But it only listens to him now. Then he asks me. Why me? I not the one demanding anything?
I defeat him and then the other members of the Shadow Triad. Really they were nothing special despite all the hype . They then run off to watch Lord Ghetisis freeze the world.
I go to talk to Dumbass but he’s frozen. Shocked about the fact that Purloin is now a Liepard and is evil. Well looks like I’m off to save the world alone.

Giant Chasm

I followed Lord Ghetisis into an icy cave. Inside was Kyurem, Lord G (that’s what I’m calling him now) says that Kyurem can use his full power down here as it is where he was born. But just before he blasts me with a super ice beam King N fly’s out of nowhere on a Zekrom and blocks the attack with a Fusion Blot. So this is the legendary King N.

Then Lord G and King N have some long conversation, something along the lines of “I raised you! I’m your Father!” “Your evil and abuse Pokemon!” Then the two battle. But Lord G reveals that this was his ultimate plan all along. To lure N here and use the DNA Splicer.
He then uses the device and merges both Pokemon (Kyurem and Zekrom) into one huge super Pokemon.

Lord G says he’s going to use this hybrid to rule the world but not first before destroying me. I battle it with my Pokemon, Ember, Duke Knott and Water Type. I quickly discovered that its Fusion Bolt and Freeze blast moves are deadly. But luckily for me Water Type uses Dragon Pulse and scored a Critical hit killing it.

Lord G is angry and then battles me! This is it! Finally after this entire stupid story, I can defeat team Plasma!
The battle was long and hard, with Water Type battling his Cofagrigus, Duke Knott fighting his Seismitiad, Ember his Elelkross and Alice his Drapion. But we all managed to win. That was until we came upon the most OP Pokemon I had ever seen. Lord Gs Hydreigon.
It used the move Dragon Rush and killed Alice in one hit. I then called upon Water Type to battle it but she two was struck down in a single blow. This was bad! I had lost my two best Pokemon and only after it had used two moves. I was certain that this was where was game ended. Beaten by the boss of Team Plasma!
I then had a new plan. Litterman had a very high defence, and therefore could survive being hit by Dragon Rush. Also the Hydreigon lost a bit of health after every move. My plan was therefore to keep Literman out and have him absorb hits until the thing killed itself. It took a long time and all of my Potions but it worked. And finally Lord G used his last Pokemon a Toxicroak. Ember used Flamethrower and scored a critical hit killing it dead.
Half my team was dead but at least we had defeated Team Plasma!
Lord G is shocked that he’s been beaten twice. King N forgives his Father and the Shadow Triad come to say that Lord G is no more and that Team Plasma has disbanded.
N thanks me, tell me I remind him of the trainer two years ago and that I should now head to the Pokemon League. Dumbass also agrees, yeah he’s here too. He kind of just showed up at the end. He tells me I’m the strongest trainer in the world and that he and Purloin have something to take care of.

But first before I go to the league I had to burry my dead.

R.I.P Thriller; Jellicent Level 39-49

R.I.P Alice; Mienshao Level 39-54

R.I.P Water Type; Altaria Level 33-54

All three of these Pokemon were very special and important. I would not have been able have defeated Team Plasma without them or the last Gym without Water Type. Rest in peace my friends.
All I had left now was Ember, Duke Knott and Litterman. I brought Lady Mud and Not Tool out of the box. I needed the support.

Right now finally! To take on the Pokemon League! Will I be able to defeat them? I dout it but theres only one way to find out.

To be continued (and hopefully finished.)

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

Standard

Black 2 Finale; Part 1: Team Plasma Strike Back

Lacunosa Town

I approached Dumbass and found him locked in confrontation with Zinzolin and another Plasma Grunt. Zinloin tells us that he joined Plasma because he wanted to see the world change and for all trainers to realise there Pokémon.
Dumbass tells him to shut up and talks about. In fact guess what he talks about.
a) Political Satire
b) Quiz Shows
c) His sisters Purlion
d) My rocking hair style.
If you chose anything but c) I laugh at you.

Dumbass and myself then team up to battle Zinloin and his grunt. We defeat his arm of Cryognal with Ember and Embour.
Zinloin complains that we were too strong and runs off to Opelucid City, Dumbass follows them.

Route 12

There was a lot of grass here. I entered some more shaky grass and again came across a rare Grass type; Roserade. I caught him and named him Rosie and Jim before he was sent to the box. Battle some more trainers (including a cool looking Herocross) and came upon the realisation that Garbadour is a Tangrowth without the vines.

Village Bridge

This was a large bridge with a small village built into and around it. Here I battled some more trainers, including a chef with a Heatmoor and an old dude who had beaten 999 trainers in a row. Both battles were tough but at least Ember learnt Sunny Day as a result.

Found some grass under the bridge, still really needed a water type so I crossed my fingers. It sadly turned out to be a Zangoose. Discovered that Zangoose is archenemies with Seviper so I called it Seviper just to mess with it. I then came upon a Golduck…..the Water type I needed. And then another one. The game was quite literally trolling me.

Battled some more trainers on some basketball and tennis courts, then we left for the next Route.

Route 11

This was a large bridge over some dark grass; the first person I met here was a Pokémon Breeder. I had a feeling that I would be seeing her a lot.

Entered the dark grass hoping for a Water Pokémon, what I got instead was a Seviper……the poetic justice was actually hurting me.
Called the Seviper Zangoose. So just to clarify I had a Zangoose called Seviper and a Seviper called Zangoose. Not confusing at all.
Battled the breeder again and went to edit my team.

Retirement

For type coverage I decided to retire two of my Pokémon as the next Gym would probably be really tough.
1) Doctor Coo Jr. Yes, once again I put her back into the box as I wanted to replace her with a better Flying type. Water Type the Swablu. As I needed a Dragon when she evolved, really sorry Doctor Coo.
2) Weedlepie. I retired my favourite Pokémon because he was starting to become obsolete as I had a much better grass type. At least my old friend would not die this way.

Route 11

Battled the Breeder again and discovered that Duke Knots defence was so high that moves like take down did more damage in recoil then they did to him.

Then battled some more Rangers and Breeders before a large Legendary dog jumped out of the grass I front of me. I could not be arsed to battle it at this point so I walked around and headed into Opelucid City.

Opelucid City

It had taken me a while but I had finally made it to Opelucid city, the city itself was all blue and futuristic. The first person I met was Irirs again from way back at Castellia City. She told me that her Grandfather was the Gym Leader, even though they weren’t related and that I should go to Route 9 first before battling him. I thanked her for the advice I started exploring the city.

In this city I met a crazy guy with lots of Tympole, played a stupid mimic game, was given a smoke ball, discovered that the gym Leader Dreydon was also the mayor and told an old man that I did not want any of his props.

Route 9

This route was small with a very large shop in the centre of it. Just before the shop was some grass, there I caught myself a Liepard, which to be honest was a waste of a Pokeball, I called her Lyer.

Outside the shop were a lot of tough thugs who wanted to battle, I took them on with Duke Knott and Water Type who evolved into an Altaria and learnt Dragon Breath.
I also let Seviper the Zangoose try his first battle. It was a double one against a Krookodile and a Drapion. He died before he even got a chance to attack. Well wasn’t he useless.

R.I.P Seviper; Zangoose. Level 43-43.

I welcomed Weedlpie back to the team. It seems as though we were meant to be together.

After battling everyone I went into the shop and was shocked to see that everyone was now attacking me. This was a shop! Not a battlefield!

After beating the shoppers I purchased some Quick Balls and a TM for Hyper Beam. Now it was time to train up my team for the gym battle.

Grinding

I gave Water Type a Lucky Egg to raise its Exp. and repeatedly went to the Breeder from Route 11 and battled her Emolga and Altaria again and again and again until my team was roughly around level 45 and Water Type was level 48. She also learnt the move Dragon Pulse.

Opelucid Gym

It was finally time to battle the gym. I met the Shady guy who told me that the gym used Dragon types and that I also had to ride the giant dragon statues to get to Dreydon who lived at the top of the gym. I also would have a choice of what trainer to battle depending on their battling methods.
I mentally prepared myself. I knew that this gym would be tough.

My first choice was Rotation Battle or Triple. I choice Rotation. Everything was going well, that was until an Axew scored a critical hit against Nikalum and killed him.
“Nooooo!!!! Not Nikalum!!!” I screamed. That made him the third Pokémon I had lost to a blasted Axew!! I did not understand. They weren’t even that tough. I ordered Duke Knott to finish up the rest of the battle.

Good bye Nikalum, you were one of my coolest looking and awesome Pokémon. Who now will I ride into battle?

R.I.P Nikalum: Galvantula; Level 26-43.

I knew that the gym would be tough but I did not think it would be this tough. I left for Route 11 and trained Water Type to level 50! I needed all the help I could get. I also took Doctor Coo back out of the box. Hello again my angry bird friend.

I braced myself and challenged the hardest Gym Leader in the game. The battle was tough, Water Type killed his Druddigon with a Dragon Pulse but was no match for his Flygon. I needed Duke Knott’s defence.
I used the time brought by Duke Knott to heal up Water Type, then I brought him out, he took a Dragon Tail to the face but survived and was swapped for Doctor Coo! Luck for me Doctor Coo brought down the Flygon.

Now all that was left was the leaders Haxorus, his toughest Pokémon. Sadly I had to sacrifice Doctor Coo Jr so that Water Type could be healed up! Please forgive me Doctor Coo.

Doctor Coo Jr was killed in a single hit. Out came Water Type who took a dragon attack and barley survived. Water type used Dragon Pulse and it survived with 1HP GAHHH!!!
I knew that Water Type was slower so it wouldn’t be able to get in another attack, but I had no choice. But then for some reason Water Type attacked first killing the beast. We Won! And it felt great!

Dreyden gave me my badge and the TM for Dragon tail, I met him outside to talk about the Dragon Pokémon the Professor wanted me to find out about. But first I had to do something.

Opelucid City

R.I.P Dr Coo Jr; Unfezant. Level 30-42.

Was that burst of speed Doctor Coo using her speed to help me from the afterlife? I guess we will never know. Good bye Doctor Coo, I hope to meet you a third time.

I then put Zangoose the Seviper on my team hoping to soon replace him.

I followed Dreydon to his house; he tells me about the legendary Pokémon and the DNA splicer which he looks after.
Then we hear a large boom outside his house, we go outside to see a large airship. It starts firing large beams of Ice at the City freezing it. Dreydon tries to use his Haxorus to break the ice but it’s too hard.
Then the Plasma leader Zinloin approaches us and demands the DNA splicer, Dreyden refuses and Zinloin says he will attack him with the ice zapper once it has been recharged.

Dreydon the asks me to help him drive Plasma out of the city, he charges off and takes three of them on at once. I then navigate across the frozen city battling different members of team Plasma with Weedlpie and Water Type.
I nearly lost Ember to a Plasmas Weezing but lucky for me Water Type absorbed the explosion.

Then I discovered that Plasma was attacking the gym, I ran over there and battled there leader Zinloin. He had two Cryognal and a Wealive. Really? For a guy who hates the cold he sure ha a lot of Ice Pokémon. Ember used Fire Punch and Larva Plume to kill all his Pokémon.
Zinloin then leaves as he hates the cold. But he then threatens to cover the whole region in ice if he didn’t get the DNA splicer. So his master plan is to cover the world in the one thing he hates?

Dreydon thanks me and gives me the DNA Splicer to look after once he heals my team. Then we are ambushed by the Shadow Triad who steal the splicer. Dreyden says we must steal it back and that I should give chase!

I find a member of the Shadow Triad blocking the city exit, all his Pokémon were weak against Ember so I had her Fire Punch them all. It was a disappointingly easy battle. However it turned out that this man was just a distraction allowing the other triad members to escape.
The triad member escaped and Dreydon came running up screaming that he had failed. Then Chren and Dumbass phoned, said they sure a big ship flying over the city and that they were coming to join us.
When they arrived, after some pointless small talk Chren explains that its cold near Humilau City and that is where Plasma must have gone to recharge there ship.
Chren tells me I’m a pretty good trainer and that they could use my assistance. Pretty good? I kicked this guy’s arse before now!

Undella Town

I made my way back to Undella Town (Route 11, Village Bridge, and Route 12.) Once here Dumbass called me up and told me to the Marine tunnel.

Marine Tube

This tunnel was a beautiful place that let me see Pokémon under water. Asides from this and women who gave me the TM for Facade there was little of interest here.

Humilau City

This city was a pretty cool and rocking town with a large beech and a huge section of it floating houses on rafts and walk ways. I was only here a few seconds before a ranger started mocking me for not having surf.
Then I met Dumbass outside the gym who told me I should beat the gym. Thanks Dumbass, not like I could have worked that out by this point.
Ovate Walter White tells me the gym leader does what he wants, moment s latter gym leader jumps out of the water and tell me that’s he’s sorry for making me look for him. I wasn’t even aware that I was looking for him! Apparently he was swimming with his Pokémon and is now going to head back to the gym. I had no idea what was going on.

Then I met an ultimate move tutor who was useless, a family obsessed with Stunfish, youngster Joey but as a girl and a lady who made me walk her Pokémon around the house for ages and then told me I didn’t do it enough so she kicked me out. What the hell is going on?
Then someone said for a Manitine he would give me a Tangrowth. This was the total reverse of what I needed, as I could have done with a water type! (Sorry about that Duke Knott.)

Route 22

I came here first to train for the gym. The first Pokémon I came across was (surprise, surprise,) not a water type. It was a Meinfoo. I caught it and named her Alice.

I then proceeded to train up my team for the gym battle. I assumed that it would be a water gym given the gym leader swimming. I needed to make sure that Duke Knott was at his best.

Asides from coming across lots of different water Pokémon which I could have used (Pelipper, Azumarill (Pika-Blue?) And Ember learning Flame Thrower, nothing much happened here so I headed towards the gym.

Humilau Gym

It took me much less time to make it to this gym then it did the last one, which was a relief. But before I entered I swapped out Seviper the Zangoose with Alice. She just seemed like a better Pokémon in general.
Shady guy gave me some water and told me that I had to push lily pads around the large pool in this gym to get to the leader. Great. More puzzles.

Came across the first gym trainer. He had a Manitine; I used Weedlpie as I believed his Grass typing would give him an advantage. His Manitine used Air Slash to my complete surprise, which sliced Weedlpie in two causing his death. I’m going to repeat that last bit. Weedlpie was sliced into causing his death. Weedlpie was dead…..my oldest friend who I had carried even since the start of this stupid quest was dead. GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THIS GYM! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL FOR THIS! HE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE LAST GYM!!!! HE WAS GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE END WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P Weedlpie; Leavanny. Level 2- 45.

I swore that I would have my revenge. I ordered Duke Knott to destroy ever Cool Trainer in the gym (which was weird, it was a water gym. Why not have swimmers and sailors instead of just Cool trainers? I mean the gym leader himself is even a swimmer!)

I replaced Weedlpie with Lyer on my team, HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE HE STOOD!

The Gym leader is called Marlon, and he’s a dark skinned surfer dude who’s totally stoned. Let’s battle!
First battle is between his Carracosta and Duke Knott, it would have been a one hit K.O for Duke Knott but Carracosta had the Sturdy ability. Finished off easily but not before it used Scald burning Knott and reducing his attack.

His Next Pokémon was a Wailord, whilst I healed up Knott and dealt with his burns he raised its defence and attack with moves like Amnesia. After few attacks did little damage I called Knot out of there and replaced him with my strongest Pokémon Water Type. She used Cotton Guard to raise defence and then I had her take down the Wailord by using…well Take Down.

Next came the hardest Battle, against his Jellicent and the last ever Gym Leader Pokémon battle!
I thought that Duke Knott would have an easy time, but its move Ominous Wind, did a ton of damage. Then the creature used its ability Cursed body to disable Knott’s Giga Drain rendering him useless!
I paralyzed it to buy Knott some more time, but the ominous wind moves really did a number on us. Then it burnt Knott with a Scald…again!
Knott was nearly dead, but then luckily Giga Drain was free from disability and I used it to gain back some health. That combined with the Leftovers I gave to Duke Knott meant that the Jellicent died from the attack and Knott wasn’t killed off by his burn!
We had won! I had beaten all eight of the Unova Gym leaders and it felt great!

Marlon gave me my Wave Badge and a TM for Scald before jumping out of a window and swimming off through the ocean. So long now!

Humilau City

After leaving the Gym Dumbass comes up to me and congratulates me before telling me I have to now defeat all Team Plasma before I can tackle the League. Blast!

Marlon then comes to us and tells us that he has no idea what Team Plasma is as he just swims in the sea all day. He then asks me if I think there bad, I say No and then he just talks jargon for a few minutes. Marlon then just walks off as Dumbass says he’s either really laid back or irresponsible.

Route 22

As Alice and Litterman were massively under-levelled I decided to train them here for a while. It wasn’t long before Lyer died battling two Anoongus. I could not care less to be honest; he was just cannon fodder anyway.

R.I.P Lyer; Liepard. Level 40-40

Then one of the other Legendary dog Pokémon jumped out a me but before I could battle him that horrid Colress guy came up and started to tell me the history of these Pokémon which I already knew. He asks if I will battle it as it is looking for strong trainers, I tell him that I will and he gives me a Colress machine. Then before he leaves he tells me that I should check out the cave on Route 21, I checked my map and discovered that I needed water Pokémon to Surf to this cave. Screw that I thought!

I battled the Legendary which was called Terrakion. I used Litterman to poison and drain him of his health. It soon died.
“That was for humans everywhere!” I said standing on his corpse.

Route 11

I returned here because I had forgotten I had not killed the other legendary dog! I had just let it sit here for ages! It was called Virizion and I battled it using Litterman again, only it was easier this time as it was a Grass type. It didn’t take long before it was dead. I had now finished off the three animals and avenged my ancestors! Back to Route 22 I went.

Route 22

After a number of close calls during trainer battles and wild Pokémon encounters (I hate Amoonguss!) I made it to a cave which was the entrance to the Giant Chasm.

Giant Chasm

Found new Pokemon in a Dust cloud. It was an Excadrill, catch it and named her Lady Mud . Discovered my route blocked by Plasma grunts and the only way to progress was to surf through Route 21. Sadly I still had not come across a water type so I realised I had to cheat.

Went out and caught a Golduck and taught it Surf. Called it tool.

Route 21

Used tool to surf around a bit, caught a new Pokémon. A Frillish, called him Thriller, then I realised the Golduck.

Surfed around this route battling trainers until I came across the Seaside Cave.

Seaside Cave

Dark gloomy, wet cave. Caught another Golduck and named him Not tool. Battled some interesting trainers, found out that Alice was a really good and tough Pokemon.
Little Alice even got to level 50 over taking half my team, then she evolved into a Mienshao. In the spirt of things she will be dead soon.

Undella Bay

Remember back when I wanted to visit this place! Got a new Pokemon, it was another Frillish, but this one was a girl. Called her Mrs Trill. Apart from this there was nothing here so went back to the Seaside cave.

Seaside Cave

Surfed around a bit and pushed a few big stones around and did some strength puzzles. Got the TM Toxic and taught it to Litterman.
There was a large group of Crustle, I used Corless’s machine and they moved. But then they started to attack me. So I had Ember use Flamethrower on it.
After fighting of the Corless’s machine broke.

Outside now and on a beach, Dumbass came running up behind me asking how were going to get onto the ship. Then gym leader Marlon pushes a big plank down that we can use to climb aboard. He won’t fight Plasma because he doesn’t know that they are bad, but he does want to help us. He then walks away. I can’t wait until I total forget about this character. Dumbass says he makes no sense. I totally agree with him for once!

Plasma Ship

A grunt attacks me with a Watchog because I removed his Crustle road block. Ember killed it with fire and then he ran away screaming. Then me and Dumbass start exploring the ship.
We went inside and entered a double battle with two grunts, as we charged Dumb Ass was all “you will feel my rage!”
After beating them they ran off saying that they had to protect some switches.
Turns out that to get to the main deck a power gate has to be turned off. Dumb Ass runs around looking for Purloin while I look for a way to turn off the gate.
Out on deck found another way below guarded by a sleeping grunt. We sneak past him.

Down below I met a grunt who says that he’s really a spy trying to defeat Plasma.
Dumbass asks him if he’s seen a Purloin. He says he hasn’t at which point Dumb Ass snaps at him that he sucks at his job before running away again. What a nice young man.

I then proceeded to storm Plasmas ship single handled, defeating Plasma grunts and turning on hidden switches as I went.
AT one point I triggered an alarm and a group of grunts came to dispatch me. Lucky for me I had Ember to battle them off for me.

Warp panels? Four Switches’? This was a Nintendo game alright!
As I battled through the ship Thriller evolved into a Jellicent which was a nice surprise. I also found a room with some beds in it where a Plasma Grunt let me heal my team……aren’t you meant to be stopping me instead of helping me?
After finding all the switches (and a magmaizer) I headed back to the security gate. There the Plasma Leader Zinzolin was waiting for me. He showed me that he had the Pokemon Kyurem locked below and that Plasma are using it to make there ice laser! Dumbass comes in and so does a random grunt once again we engaged in a double battle. I decided to use Alice for this battle on account that all his Pokemon were ice types and sucked against her.
After an easy battle we get some more back story about a Purloin before the Shadow Triad arrive and throw us over board.

We sit on the beach and watch as the ship grows wings and fly’s away. Then Chren arrives apologising for being late and says that the ship is heading for the Giant Chasm. You know. The place I just came from. He tells us that the only thing that can stop Kyurem is one of the Legendary Pokemon and one of the Heroes who command them. I don’t care and so me and Dumbass head back to the Giant Chasm.

Giant Chasm

When we get here we find a grunt telling the two blocking our way that there needed somewhere else. It turns out that this was the spy and that he’s doing this for the memory of King N. Dumbass says that we all have to stop Plasma, that way Lord N and this spy will no longer be seen as villains. How sweet.

Inside I surfed around a bit, found a TM for Ice beam used Strength a few times and eventually found my way outside.

In the centre of the Chasm I find that Rood is here with a bunch of Old Plasma grunts. They try talking sense to the New Team Plasma. Me and Dumbass watch. Rood says that some guy called Ghetsis only wanted to take over region and did not care about liberating Pokemon. They do not listen, Dumbass barges in and tell Rood to unleash their Pokemon. Suddenly a small war is happening and I’m caught up in it. I find myself facing a Weezing that exploded in Water Types face. Lucky for me she’s a string girl and takes the hit well.

After the battle Rood gives me some max revives. Thanks but there total useless in a Nuzlocke. Then Plasma call in back up, but Rood tells me that he will continue battling Plasma outside and that I should storm there ship which is parked nearby. He also says that Dumbasses Purloin is probably with the Shadow Triad.

With That Dumbass runs at the ship and I follow.

Plasma Ship

On board the ship I found that Dumbass had defeated all the trainers all ready. They were all covering on the ground crying. Who knew that Dumbass was such a force to be reckoned with?

Found my way to the deep parts of the ship. Once again I met the spy who talks some more about Lord N. Are you going to be another form of Dumbass? Only with Lord N taking the place of a Purloin?

Great! More puzzles! And Pipes! And Passwords! Why these people can’t just let me go to the Pokemon league already!!

I had been battling so long by this point that all of my Pokemon had run out of pp. Heck Litterman had run out back in the Chasm. I needed to find somebody to heal my team and quickly!

I found out the code by….guess what? Battling everybody of course. Whilst doing so Thriller had evolved from a HM slave to a valuable member of the team, Alice became one of my best Pokemon although her Defence was very low. She basically had to kill everything before they could get a hit in.

I also found a random doctor here who healed my team after I beat him. I don’t know what’s happening any more.

Type the code into the machine (I was Zekrom.) And once again I come face to face with Zinzolin. He tells me that stopping me now is a mercy. Out comes his ice Pokemon again and out comes Alice. And all his Pokemon fall down dead!
“What beaten again!” He says “but never fear I shall have the last laugh!” And then he….well he just stands there. Yeah. Weird. I sneak past him and take a warp panel up to the ships control room.

In the control room. Shock! Its Corless! He joined Plasma to help fund his research on Pokemon power and now he wants to battle me. Considering how difficult our last battle together was I was not looking forward to this.

This was one of the most annoying battles in history, with lots of steel types using the ability sturdy and paralysing my team. His Magnazone killed Thriller whilst I healed Ember (she was the only one who could battle these things and Thriller was my most expendable Pokemon while I healed her.) Eventually the battle was over and I could not care less about what this Corless guy had to say. Blah blah strength, Pokemon, it was all just the same crap again and again. I was really starting to hate this part of the game. Why does this whole bit about Team Plasma have to go on for so long!

I take the next warp panel and end up in some evil dude’s main office. He then starts talking about how useless Corless is. Dude I total agree with you! The guys an Arse hole!
He then starts a big evil speech about how he will rule the world. This guy’s pretty square and wearing some tatty cloak.
Then the shadow triad come in and “Kyurem and been moved Lord Ghetisis.”
Gasp so this is the evil leader of Plasma! He then teleports out of the office to oversee things but not before leaving the Shadow Triad to deal with me and Dumbass who come running in.
Dumbass demands that they give him back his Purloin. Shadow guy then shows Dumbass a Liepard that he stole five years ago. But it only listens to him now. Then he asks me. Why me? I not the one demanding anything?
I defeat him and then the other members of the Shadow Triad. Really they were nothing special despite all the hype . They then run off to watch Lord Ghetisis freeze the world.
I go to talk to Dumbass but he’s frozen. Shocked about the fact that Purloin is now a Liepard and is evil. Well looks like I’m off to save the world alone.

Giant Chasm

I followed Lord Ghetisis into an icy cave. Inside was Kyurem, Lord G (that’s what I’m calling him now) says that Kyurem can use his full power down here as it is where he was born. But just before he blasts me with a super ice beam King N fly’s out of nowhere on a Zekrom and blocks the attack with a Fusion Blot. So this is the legendary King N.

Then Lord G and King N have some long conversation, something along the lines of “I raised you! I’m your Father!” “Your evil and abuse Pokemon!” Then the two battle. But Lord G reveals that this was his ultimate plan all along. To lure N here and use the DNA Splicer.
He then uses the device and merges both Pokemon (Kyurem and Zekrom) into one huge super Pokemon.

Lord G says he’s going to use this hybrid to rule the world but not first before destroying me. I battle it with my Pokemon, Ember, Duke Knott and Water Type. I quickly discovered that its Fusion Bolt and Freeze blast moves are deadly. But luckily for me Water Type uses Dragon Pulse and scored a Critical hit killing it.

Lord G is angry and then battles me! This is it! Finally after this entire stupid story, I can defeat team Plasma!
The battle was long and hard, with Water Type battling his Cofagrigus, Duke Knott fighting his Seismitiad, Ember his Elelkross and Alice his Drapion. But we all managed to win. That was until we came upon the most OP Pokemon I had ever seen. Lord Gs Hydreigon.
It used the move Dragon Rush and killed Alice in one hit. I then called upon Water Type to battle it but she two was struck down in a single blow. This was bad! I had lost my two best Pokemon and only after it had used two moves. I was certain that this was where was game ended. Beaten by the boss of Team Plasma!
I then had a new plan. Litterman had a very high defence, and therefore could survive being hit by Dragon Rush. Also the Hydreigon lost a bit of health after every move. My plan was therefore to keep Literman out and have him absorb hits until the thing killed itself. It took a long time and all of my Potions but it worked. And finally Lord G used his last Pokemon a Toxicroak. Ember used Flamethrower and scored a critical hit killing it dead.
Half my team was dead but at least we had defeated Team Plasma!
Lord G is shocked that he’s been beaten twice. King N forgives his Father and the Shadow Triad come to say that Lord G is no more and that Team Plasma has disbanded.
N thanks me, tell me I remind him of the trainer two years ago and that I should now head to the Pokemon League. Dumbass also agrees, yeah he’s here too. He kind of just showed up at the end. He tells me I’m the strongest trainer in the world and that he and Purloin have something to take care of.

But first before I go to the league I had to burry my dead.

R.I.P Thriller; Jellicent Level 39-49

R.I.P Alice; Mienshao Level 39-54

R.I.P Water Type; Altaria Level 33-54

All three of these Pokemon were very special and important. I would not have been able have defeated Team Plasma without them or the last Gym without Water Type. Rest in peace my friends.
All I had left now was Ember, Duke Knott and Litterman. I brought Lady Mud and Not Tool out of the box. I needed the support.

Right now finally! To take on the Pokemon League! Will I be able to defeat them? I dout it but theres only one way to find out.

To be continued (and hopefully finished.)

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

Standard

Fire Red Part 13: The Tragic life of Wade

Pallet Town

I gave up with the cave. It was too much effort trying to make my way through without the HM Strength. Luckily for me looking at the map revealed that you can actually get to Cinnabar Island via Surfing from the Pallet Town. So I flew back to my home town and visited my dear old mother.

I meet my mom after what had been two long years, I’d been arrested for multiple felonies, nearly been killed 4 times and defeated a terrorist organisation. And what did she have to say to me?
“You look tired. Take a quick break.”
Really? That’s all you have to say to me? Know I’m starting to remember why I left home in the first place

Route 21

I didn’t talk to the great Emperor Oak this time for fear of him scolding me again so I left as quickly as possible.
Just as I set out I saw a little patch of grass. Thank goodness! I really didn’t fancy getting another Tentacool on this route. In the grass I came upon a creepy vine monster with two large eyes. It was called Tangela; I caught it and named u-got-worms.

As I surfed the mighty ocean, battling Tentacool and trainers who were swimming in the ocean I came upon a strange man fishing on a lone island called Wade. He was the first person I think I had encountered (other than myself) to have 6 Pokémon. I was so surprised that I simply had to battle him; I was met with bitter disappointment. All of his Pokémon were extremely under-levelled Magikarp. What the hell has this trainer been doing with his life? For that matter, how did he even get to this island? Magikarp can’t learn surf?
After much deciphering I think I have an answer. This man was involved in a horrible plane crash and has been stranded on this desert island ever since and he, regretfully, never learnt to swim. He needed to feed himself and thus he constructed himself a small fishing rod out of the charred remains of the planes derby and has been fishing for Magikarp ever since. He then accepted my challenge to battle as it would save him the effort of killing them himself.
I offered this poor soul a ride on my Blue Thing, but he had become content with his life of solitude and thus did not wish to return to his life in mainstream civilisation, to which I admire him. Good luck to you Wade, where ever you may end up.

As we waded through the Tentacool my Blue Thing learnt the move Rain Dance, great. Now it was constantly raining as well. Talk about water being everywhere.

Finally, after a long, long time sailing the 3 seas (Route 19,20,21) I had arrived at Cinnabar Island.

Cinnabar Island

I didn’t spend too much time here before I set out for the Sea Foam islands again (accept I headed towards it in the other direction this time.) All I know is that this place was pretty deserted, a bit like a Mexican ghost town, heck there weren’t even any houses only a Gym, a lab and a bunt down building. I decided to heal up my team and before I once again set sail.

Route 20

The first creature I came across was a Beedrill. Nah I’m just kidding it was another blasted Tentacool. I didn’t want it so I simply killed it and continued surfing towards Sea Foam. I battled, more Tentacool and even came upon a larger more scarier looking one called Tentacruel. Jessie clawed it to death, but it was nice to have a change. I battled all the swimming trainers here and then once I reached the Sea Foam islands I had Wolvo Rat fly me back to Cinnabar Island.

Cinnabar Island

There was generally nothing for me to do on this island aside from challenge the Gym and visit the labs. I was surprised at the number of people inside the laboratories, and it was much larger than the one that Emperor Oak used for his palace.
I entered one room and was met by a friendly scientist.
“Hello young man and welcome to the fossil research department. Here we research different Pokémon fossils.”
I informed this man that I had plenty of old junk if he was interested in examining some of it.
“Thanks but I’m interested in fossils not antiques,” I showed him my Old Amber that I had stolen from the Pewter Museum.
“Why that’s the Old Amber that was stolen from the Museum about a year ago!” Exclaimed the man, “I spent years asking them if I could examine it and all they did was call me a sweaty nerd before charging me 50pp. I would love nothing more than to examine this fossil, why don’t you leave it with me and come back in a little while. Don’t worry it should be quite safe.” I left the fossil with the sweaty nerd, glad that my back pack was now much lighter and headed into the next room. Here a lot if the islands residents were drinking tea and talking about how they wished they could build house here.
“Excuse me young man,” asked the oldest of these men “but do you have a Raichu that you are willing to trade?” Raichu? I would have if little Jeff didn’t die!! It’s weird; even though he’s dead people are still trying to steal him.

With nothing else to do I decided to check out the Gym, only to get really annoyed when the door would not open. I was confused, why was this gym locked? Then one of the Islands nine-residents came up to me.
“The Gym leader Blaine likes to play trick, and riddles on people. So I imagine you have to pass this little test of his in order to enter the gym.”
I asked where do you think I could find a key to this place.
“Well if I were you I’d checkout that old mansion there,” he pointed at the old burnt out building “I think there’s a good chance that Blaine would have hidden it there.”
Great, exploring a large, burnt, rickety, rat infested mansion. What’s the worst that could happen?

The Abandoned Mansion

This was a large, creepy, crumbling, mansion. Luckily it wasn’t haunted so at least it had that going for it. However it had been taken over by a horde of wild critters including poison and fire types such as Koffing and Grimmer; not to mention a ton of Raticate.
With so many subpar creatures here, I was delighted to discover that my first Pokémon was a cool little Growltihe. This time I refused to let this one get away from we, I used Wolvo Rat and captured it. Welcomes to our happy little family Ronald, now somebody get me a Fire Stone.

Suddenly I found myself swept away by blasted Raticate, thousands of the bloody things. I found it hard to believe that I actually showed affection to one of these things. I hated them.

Then I found myself being attacked by burglars and nerds searching from some special artefact or something. I killed all of their Pokémon and forced them to stand frozen in time for ever. I wasn’t having anyone steal the key to the gym (at least that’s what I thought they were after.)

There were also a number of diaries scattered around, talking about a very rare Pokémon called Mew, and cloning it and it escaping and such. This was all very well, but what I want to know is who the hell is this scientist who only writes a single line of dialogue in a diary, and then moves onto another? Why did they not just buy one dairy and keep writing on the same page. For scientist these guys were pretty incompetent.
Asides from these diaries I also found a lot of performance enhancing drugs, I would have spread them out equally amongst my team. But Fat Matt 2 quickly devoured them all; he was very hungry after all.

After a while I discovered that I had to press a bunch of hidden switches hidden underneath a bunch of statutes. Eventually I just gave up and went to see what the Fossil guy at the lab had gotten up too.

Cinnabar Island

“Well Mr Fat do I have a surprise for you.” Said the scientist as I walked in, “I put the Old Amber on one of the cloning device and it came back to life! You are now the proud owner of this prehistoric dinosaur called Aerodactyl. I would ask if we could examine this creature for scientific research and present it as a means to win a Nobel Prize. But sadly it killed all of our top researchers and is currently devouring the head of botanical research. In fact it’s even killed me pretty much, I just did my best to hold on until you came back to claim it.” And then he fell dead with and revealed that his back had just been torn wide open. I returned the Aerodactyl to a random Pokeball I found and called him Dino Dan. I also placed the sacred Helix Fossil in the cloning machine, who knew what crazy thing would come from it.

Well back to the Mansion I went, goodness knows I have nothing better to be doing with my life.

The Abandoned Mansion

All that was here was more confusion, more rats and more robbers. Go away Buglers, I have nothing worth stealing.

Puzzles and puzzles and switches and diaries and Koffings and Raticates. Oh please let it end! I begged, I really hated this place. It’s not as if it was even appalling to look at, it was all dark reds and greys. Thank goodness for Fat Matt 2, and Jackie Chan and yes I know I was using these two for pretty much everything. But they had both proven themselves as veterans of the Explosion surviving.

After what felt like hours I finally came across a Secret Key, oh how I wished so badly for it to be the key for the Gym. Luckily for me it was.

Cinnabar Island Gym

The key opened the front door to this gym, Wanker had already beaten it. How? I know for a fact that he couldn’t have gotten surf before me and I didn’t see him roaming around the old house for a damn key. Unless he was the one who put it there, if that’s the case I hated him even more.

“Welcome!” Said one of the Gym Members “in this gym you must answer a series of trivial questions. If you get a question right you can move to the next room, if you get it wrong you must first battle a trainer before moving on. Think you’re up to it?”
I asked the type this gym specialised, “Fire,” he said. I asked if I could just go straight to battling the trainers. The man looked confused at first that was until he saw a very pumped, steroid fuelled Blastoise.
Do your thing Blue Thing.

Well, that was easy. The trainer battles not the questions. I didn’t bother to answer the questions. What am I? A Scientist? All the scientists I know are either lost in caves, being abused by Team Rocket or dead. I learnt the hard way that the one thing that gets you nowhere in this world was an education. I mean why else send small children on life threatening quests instead of sending them to school? Oh that’s right Emperor Oak dos not believe in education for the people. All the people of Pallet need to know is how to fight and praise the great leader’s name. And just like in a game of Sid Miller game, this seemed to be the best way to raise an empire.

After I’d defeated all of the trainers I came face to face with the mighty Blaine. He was an old, but tall, vain man with a large bushy moustache, and clear white hair. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of smoky glasses.
“So you must be the great Fat Matt?” He said curiously, “well I must say I’m impressed. Never has a trainer from the pitiful Pallet defeated so many great trainers, let alone two of them. Tell me child do you know what it is like to be burnt by the awesome power of Fire?”
I told him I had as Kill Wanker had rather an upset stomach that morning.
“Believe me you have never experienced pain quite like this, come out me child!”
He then sent out his first Pokémon, a Growlithe that was the same level as my steroid fuelled Blue Thing. Blue Thing used Surf and drowned it.
“Oh?” Said Blaine confused. His next creature was a Ponyta, Blue Thing drowned it with torrent of water from Surf.
“Okay?” Said Blaine curiously, he then sent out a much larger, fiery Ponyta with a large horn. This was a Rapadash, and it was a high level then Blue Thing. Rapadash attacked by stomping on top of Blue Thing, luckily his shell was far too hard. Blue Thing used Surf and dosed out its fiery mane stopping it dead.
“Okay I’m seeing a pattern here,” said Blaine. He sent out his last creature. A huge fiery wold called Arcaine. It was a much high level then Blue Thing. The Arcaine used a flaming tornado to entrap my Blue Thing, but then Blue Thing forced through with a tide of wave which freed him from the flames and washed away Blaine’s Arcaine.
“Hmm.” Said Blaine at last “I didn’t think you would have water Pokémon of that Magnitude to be honest. Tell me how long have you had that vascular looking Blastoise?”
I told him I’d had it since the start, way back at Pallet Town.
“It clearly shows. You either have put a lot of effort into teaming it or cheated and used at lot of steroids and drugs. But we both know that isn’t the case.” He then threw he head back and laughed. I joined him, because we both know I’d hadn’t put in any effort into training him. Blaine then gave me my seventh badge and a TM
“Where shall you head now? I take it you must have visited every gym and settlement in the region by now.”
I told him I did not know, so he inspected my Badges, “curious, if I were you I would head back home to Pallet and then to Viridian. I heard that the gym there has recently opened. Then you will have all 8 badges and can challenge the Pokémon League. Good luck Fat Matt.”
I couldn’t believe it, my journey was almost at its end! Just one more badge to go! I thanked Blaine and left his crazy gym in high spirits.
“Why hello there Fat Matt!” I was stunned. For stood before me was a familiar face, one who I had not seen for a long time. A man who I had once killed.
“Remember me Fat Matt? I’m Bill! And I’m back for my revenge!”

To be continued………

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

*Note: Due to lack of time, there will only be one more entry for both series summing up each of the final stages of the adventures. We didn’t want to end this way but we wanted to finish and this seems to be the only way.

Standard

Black 2 Part 12: the birth of Useless

Mistralton City

I stocked up on supplies and met Skyla and the Professor at the Airport, then just before we took off Bianca came running out of nowhere and asked if she could come too to research the Reversal Mountain. Skyla agreed and the four of all hoped aboard and enjoyed the seemingly quite flight across the region.

Lenticels Town

Skyla flew us to the other side of the region. The reason for this was that not only was the way through Twist Mountain impassable, but half the region appeared to have been frozen by some sort of blast ice wave. We weren’t sure what had caused it, only that it was really annoying and meant that I had to be flown back the way I had come, over Driftview, Nimbass and Castellia and then some more. Eventually we landed in this very quiet and remote town in the middle of what appeared to be some kind of dessert. In fact, so remote was this place that most trainers had never even heard of it.
There was a fierce sandstorm underway when we first arrived.

Once we had landed and stepped out onto the runway Professor Juniper started telling us about Team Plasma and everything that had happened two years ago. She told us about N the legendary Pokémon, the young trainer who saved everyone and the gym leaders uniting to stop them.
“Now that you know all of this Elm Jr I want you to go to Opeluid City and speak to the gym leader Dreyden. He will be able to help us and give us advice, if Team Plasma truly has returned.”
“Okay will do.”
“And I’m going to go and explore Reversal Mountain for rare Fire Pokémon,” said Bianca, she then left without another word.
“What will you do Professor?” I asked.
“Oh just stand he repeating the same information until the game decides that it’s time for me to be de-spawned.”
“Oh….well if you insist,” I then headed into the town itself to do a little exploration.

Upon entering the town a man with a large backpack asked if I could even remember why I was traveling anymore.
“No,” I told him “but there is a charming lady standing on the runway that would probably be able to tell you. However you must be warned she has a habit of telling you to go to Opeluid city and speaking to the Gym leader.”

Asides from a Pokémon Center there was little here in this desert town! All the buildings were made of sandstone and the large bulk of Reversal Mountain loomed ominously overhead. I did however find a TM for Charge Beam and in one of the houses I met and old man who was all “I was born in this town. And I’ll die in this town!” Which was pretty awesome, but only until you realise that this old man’s life had been nothing but a Pokémon Center, a few mud huts, an old runway and a lot of sand. I can’t wait to read his autobiography.

Reversal Mountain

We were standing before the great Reversal Mountain, here there was some more long grass growing through the dry and dead earth. How this was possible was a total mystery, I mean there were none of the conditions required to sustain life here. Some dark sand would have been a better design choice in my opinion, but then I’m not a Pokémon world designer.
I entered the grass and came across my new team mate, it was a little, black, pig with a large pearl on its head and a spring for legs…….right. I captured the creature and discovered it was called a Spoink. I was so intrigued by this weird little thing that for once I actually read its Pokedex entry. Apparently if it ever stopped bouncing on its little tail its heart would stop and it would die. I found this so tragic (if not slightly amusing in a dark sense) so I cleverly called him Jump Start.

Because Jump Start was a Psychic type I decided to switch him out for Doctor Coo Jr. I was once more apologised to Doctor Coo but I already had a flying type and I needed the type coverage. Besides I was constantly worried in case one day she decided to cut my throat whilst I slept.

Now I continued my way through the waste lands before the reversal mountain. Since Weedlpie had learnt X Scissor and Leaf Blade he was once again indestructible. And thus led our team through the hordes of rubbish Pokémon.

It wasn’t long before Jump Start started to evolve in a Grunpig. He now had actual legs (2 of them) was much more pig like and had a large spring for a tail. He was no longer quite as tragic as before, to be honest I actually didn’t really care for his evolution. It was kind of boring compared to the creativity of Spoink. Oh well, I suppose I’ll learn to love him regardless (I’d grown attached to a living trash bag after all.)

Strange House

This place was an old creepy mansion hidden away at the back of the Reversal Mountain trail. I entered out of curiosity and was attacked by a large rat creature called Raticate. I tried my best to capture it but sadly Weedlpie killed it with his super sharp knife hands.

I explored the mansion for a little while, before I started to notice that the furniture here was actually moving about when I entered different rooms. Rooms that had been blocked a table or seat, were suddenly accessible whilst the one that’s weren’t blocked suddenly were. Was this house trying to lead me along a deliberate path?

I entered one of said rooms and weirdly found a man with a bag pack just standing there. He then challenged me to battle with his a weird, yellow! Plastic looking camel called Numel. I had Maid Moist kill it before I finally confronted this man. He strictly informed me that he was not the one moving all the furniture. Which was all fine and well, but it still didn’t answer the question of why he was just standing there.

I had just finished examining the library and was returning to the hall when I saw a strange girl, I approached her but she didn’t seem to see me.
“Mom? Dad? Abra? Where are you?” Then for a spilt second, I blinked. And she was gone.
This was when I was started to get worried.
Then I noticed that the furniture had moved again, so I decided to see where this crazy house was leading me. In the process of this Jump Start learnt the move Power Gem while battling Raticate, which was nice.

I found the ghost girl had gone to the library I had just visited, “I no longer care about Lunar, all I care about is you daddy.” Then she vanished again. It seems that this girl has lost her passion towards the moon, which isn’t surprising. A lot of people take it for granted.

I followed the creepy path the house took me along until I once more found the ghost girl in a bed room. This time she addressed me directly.
“This is the Luna’s wing; I need you to return it to the Bridge for me!” And then the girl vanished for ever leaving only a single pearl white, wing in her place………I though it time we got going.

Reversal Mountain

I had now entered the long tunnel which led through to the otherwise of Reversal Mountain. Inside I discovered that I could now capture fully evolved Gunpig, at a higher level than mine. I didn’t care though because Jump Start was special and unique. Plus he also had the ultra-rare Pokerus disease, which was so odd. You wait your whole life time to come across this disease once and then it pops up twice in one play through.
“Hi Elm Jr,” I found Bianca standing through an opening in one of the caves walls.
“Hi Bianca, how can I help?” I asked.
“Well basically I need to do some important Pokémon research here in these tunnels. The only problem is that I’m not too good at battling, can you help me and my team get through the cave if we team up? I’ll heal your Pokémon for you.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not if you want to get through this cave.”
“Then let us get moving then.”
And so it was that the two of us now travelled through this deep desolate place together battling wild Grunpigs and Numel and such.

It wasn’t long before the two of us came upon two Cool trainers in a double battle, one was armed with a Darmanitan, a strange Russia Doll looking fire beast and the other with a Boldure. Bianca used her Musharna, an evolved and larger version of Muna, and I used Maid Moist.
“Come on Bianca!” I said “let’s do this!”
But when it came to battling. I discovered that Bianca was awful, so bad in fact that to be paired with her was an actual hindrance. I couldn’t tell her what moves to use or help her, so instead she just wasted her turn’s dong silly power up moves and stat reducing abilities. I didn’t understand how someone who studies Pokémon for a living could know so little about them. In the end because of it the Cool Trainers realised that the only real threat to them was me. So they both teamed up against me and Maid Moist, who despite her best efforts, couldn’t fight off both Pokémon. In the end Maid Moist was over-whelmed and crushed under a huge Rock Slide before Darmanitan fried her broken remains with a Fire Punch. Maid Moist was dead!
I then sent out my newest team member, Jump Start, to avenge my beloved Swan. But once again he was teamed up on by the Cool Trainers as Bianca just sat and watched. Poor Jump Start didn’t stand a chance; he was roasted alive by the Darmanitan.
“What the hell are you doing?” I screamed at her, “Two of my Pokémon are dead! Do something!”
“Okay, erm how about I raise my defence some more?”
“You absolute idiot!” I yelled, “I ended up using Litterman and Ember to finish off the Cool Trainers and there Pokémon.
“Don’t worry Elm,” said Bianca, “I’ll heal your Pokémon.”
“Heal them? There dead! There both dead because of you!” I yelled, “Screw you Bianca! Screw you and your research! Screw you and your crappy Pokémon and screw this stupid plot and story! Why can this place not just let me battle and defeat the Pokémon League! Why do I have to do all this pointless stuff!”

Once I had calmed down I left the mountain and Useless behind. Yes Useless! This is what I shall for ever reference Bianca as from this day forward. She was not worthy of a name anymore.
It was now time to realise my friends to the great beyond. I first bid fare well to Jump Start, he was so young, yet sadly I had a feeling his life would be short lived by his sadistic Pokedex entry.
Then came the harder parting. Maid Moist, not only was she our only Water Type but her Flying moves were irreplaceable. She stepped up to take the place of our beloved Lord Tibbs when everything seemed bleak; she had helped us defeat the Gym Leaders Clay and Skyla and was a great companion to Ember. Good bye my dear, here’s hoping you’ll be free from the pressure of boys in the next life.

Once again I welcomed back the steaming Doctor Coo Jr and headed back to the mountain, it turned out that I had no choice but to explore this place with Useless.
“Fine, but if any more of my Pokémon die because of your incompetence I’ll personally destroy you! Understand?”

This place was a maze, a horrid, horrid maze of winding tunnels and dark blue chasms. It seems that the wild Pokémon here also had some-kind of grudge against Useless as they were now attacking us two at a time, which made things much more awkward to be honest.
Then we came across another Cool Trainer, this time he wanted me to take part in a Rotation Battle.
“I think I’ll sit this one out,” said Useless.
“Really? You decide to sit this one out now? Good! You’ll properly just mess things up anyway. Just stand there and try not to break the mountain.”
The battle was against two Scraggy and a Gurdurr. Litterman destroyed them all. Good old Litterman, at least I still had him after all this time.

Continuing through the cave with Useless we started to have a number of close calls with wild Pokémon and trainer battles. I nearly lost the mighty Weedlpie to a Woobat and we accidentally entered a dust cloud which contained two Excadrill. Needless to say we both ran as fast as our little legs could……right in to another battle with a Cool Trainer. And yes I did write A Cool Trainer. The Cool trainers here were spread out in a way where you would have to battle two of them at once. However I discovered that if I have a quick word with one of them and explained the situation involving Useless, they would become incredibly caring and let me battle them one on one. After our battle they tended to spit and shout abuse at Useless as we passed, nobody likes being paired up with a useless trainer it seems.
One of these Cool Trainers had a Swanna, she comforted me as I began crying uncontrollably, then after I’d killed it I comforted her. The Pokémon world can be strange in that way (at least my Pokémon world can be.)
Then another Cool Trainer had a nasty, haunted, rag doll creature called Banetta which was causing a lot of problems for my poor team. Luckily for me I had just brought back Doctor Coo Jr who had normal typing. Meaning that none of its moves could hit her, allowing her to finish it off using a Fly attack.

“Hey this is the place I was looking for!” It seems as though we had finally made it the place Useless was looking for.
“But it’s just a small empty room,” I said confused “what could possibly be here for you?”
“This was the resting place of a very powerful Pokémon! But sadly it seems to have moved on.”
“You’re joking right? We have just been through all that hell for an empty room?”
“Well I thought I might find something cool here.”
“What like a Legendary Pokémon? You struggle to defeat a Woobat! How could you possible fight something like that?”
“I believe in my Pokémon!”
“Whatever, you going to leave me alone now I’ve found your room!”
“No.”
“Super.”

After many hours, I began to feel like there was no end to this place; it was like ChargeStone all over again! All Wild battles were against Rock types as well, which as I stated at an early date, my whole team is weak against! In fact I was starting to realise how Nikalum was still alive, and it was only because he could use his Volt Tackle move to attack quickly and then flee from any given battle. This move was also very useful in not just keeping Nikalum alive but battling Cool Trainers as well (seriously this place was like a gathering place of Cool Trainers.) In a Triple Battle against two Riolu and a Gurdurr his Volt Switching tactic particle won us the battle. Man I really loved this hideous thunder spider!

Day 42: So sick of Useless’s endless blabber, have discovered best tactic for getting though this place is to keep Doctor Coo up front and use Detect to Protect itself while the stupid wild Pokémon Just kill themselves with Earthquake and such. The Cool Trainers here were really getting annoying. Nearly lost Ember and Litterman to one of them and its stupid Rock types. Then one of them had the nerve to use a Watchog. Litterman killed it in the name of Father Fry.

Finally after what felt like weeks, we came upon the exit.
“Well Elm Jr I guess this is where we part ways,” said Useless.
“Yes! Finally I won’t have to drag you’re Useless ass around anymore!”
“Fair enough. But I’m going off to research Heatran some more.”
“Good. I hope he kills you!” And with those words we parted.

Undella Town

How weird that on the other side of this horrid mountain was a chilled out beach resort where rich people relax. It’s just what I needed after the horrors of Reversal Mountain.

I sat relaxing in the Pokémon Center for a while contemplating my next move. Two things were now apparent. I needed a new Pokémon, Rock and Fire types were destroying my team and none of the Pokémon I owned could learn the move Surf. I was now starting to realise how important Maid Moist was to my team, without her I could not sail the seas. And for some reason this was the only Pokémon game without a Fishing rod, so I needed a water type to learn Surf. But in order to do such I needed a Water type to learn Surf. What a Paradox!

I decided that I would do a bit of exploration around some of the villas. I met an old lady in one saying that it belonged to someone called Caitlin who was once a Pokémon Champion. What I want to know was why was this old lady here for then?
Then In another villa some rich guy examined my stuff and said I had nothing of value. I told him that I Weedlpie was the value I needed, and then I cried a little.

There was a great bay here which I could have surfed through if I knew surf. But without such I had two ways to go. Route 13 took me to where I wanted to go (north) and Route 14 took me the opposite way (South) but could of had a lot more training that way. I decided to head south first and get some more training and hopefully capture a new water types.

Route 14

This whole Route was set on a beautiful cliff side which over looked the ocean and the beeches below.
“Good day young sir. Would you care to engage me in battle?” This was an elderly lady who seemed to be one of the 1%. I battled her and her Lobunny, a tall elegant rabbit humanoid (it made me miss Murderer,) with the mighty Litterman. After which she paid me an awful lot of money and bid me fair well.
“Why hello young ragamuffin!” It was another old rich guy, I was now starting to understand where all the residents of Undella town were. Taking a walk up this cliff. Sign* I battle these gout riddled pensioners until I found a place where I could capture a new Pokémon. I entered the grass, begging it to be some kind of Water type. But sadly what I got was a small blue bird with very wooly wings called Swablu. I caught it and name her Water Type because that’s how Pokémon worked it my mind. Sadly despite being christened as such Water type could not learn Surf, into the box she went.

Undella Town

I still desperately needed a Water Pokémon so I decided that I would head north of Undella Town now to Route 13 and hope that one presented itself there.
“Elm Jr!” Just as I was leaving the town our old friend Dumb Ass came running up behind me.
“Elm let’s test our strength!” And before I could even ask how he’d been I was thrown into an intense battle with the man. His first Pokémon was a Unfezant, I used Litterman who poisoned it with Toxic and finished it with Sludge bomb.
“Blast!” He then used his starter, a mighty Emboar. A huge Ganon-esq fire pig. Litterman used Toxic again to Poison it, the flaming pig used the move Take Down and did almost as much damage to it as it did to the highly defensive Litterman. Litterman launched a Sludge bomb, scored a critical hit and Emboar killed itself with a Take Down.
Next Dumb Ass used the evolved form of one of the monkey trio, a Simpour. I swapped to Nikalum who in turn swapped out with a Volt tackle killing the Water ape dead. We had won. Well done Nikalum and a special well done to Litterman.
“I can’t believe that I lost after all the training blah blah blah Team Plasma blah blah blah sisters Purlion blah blah blah get stronger blah blah blah see you later.” And then he ran off. I imagine my interpretation may not have been exactly what he said, but to be honest I think I can kind of just guess what he’s going to talking about. I’ve heard it enough times.

Route 13

I stepped out onto this route hoping desperately to find a new Water type Pokémon. But first I had to battle a Black belt training on the beach with his level 41 Scraffy. Boy was this level spike! Lucky for me I had Litterman here to save the day (he was really turning out to be something was our Litterman.)
I found the closest patch of grass, praying for whatever to jump or at me to be a Water type. But then suddenly I saw some of the grass rustling. Now rustling grass is a strange thing, 90% of the time all you’ll find in one is a Aurdio, but in that small 10%percentage you can find a whole host of very rare and I usual Pokémon. Most trainers don’t even bother with this strategy of Pokémon hunting and to be honest I can’t blame them. It would be quicker to get the creatures found this way by evolution or trading.
Still for some reason I decided to take the risk and enter the rustling grass. What I came face to face with was a mountain of vines, the evolved foam of Tangela. A Tangrowth. At first I was a tad disappointed, as it was yet another Grass type. But then it hit me. A Tangrowth? A TANGROWTH?
I needed it! I really needed it! Not only was it rare, it was super powerful! I battled it and after much trial and error I captured the thing.
I was so happy! After everything I’d been through recently this was the break that I needed! I called him Duke Knott and taught him Rock Slide for type coverage. Finally I was no longer threaten by tyranny of Rock types!
I tried Duke Knott out on a few random wild Pokémon, he absolutely destroyed them. I had a feeling I had stumbled upon something rather special with this one.

Route 14

I returned to the cliffs to do some more training.
“Good day old bean!” Said one of the rich gentlemen as he battled me with his Delcatty. Knott devoured it whole, and then we battled against his wife’s Gurdurr which Knott soon chocked to death.
“What is that unholy hell spawn?” She uttered in distress.
“That is the unstoppable Duke Knott!” I informed her “and along with Weedlpie we shall destroy this world!”

A little way longer I was challenged to a triple battle against a bat like creature, Gliger, a large walking plant Lillght and an angry looking Parana called Basclin. Using great team work Duke Knott, Ember and Nikalum beat them.

A little way along I was confronted by a group of fishermen. Wish I was a Fisherman! That way I could find somebody who could use Surf. Oh well, I thought, Duke Knott feasted well on their catches at least.

Rotation battle ahoy! This time it was against a Zebrastrike, a Skarmory and a Tangela. Ha a puny Tangela? It looked pathetic compare to my Knott. I used Weedlpie, Nikalum and Ember to win this one, although I nearly lost Ember, hang in there old girl.
After this battle I taught Nikalum Agility, that way I could pair it well with his Volt Tackle.

We made it to the end of this route, where the check point was being blocked by what seemed like 7 identical men all standing in a rows doing a weird jig. It was clear that these clones were blocking my way for a reason. So I headed back to Undella Town and to Route 13.
On the way I came across an Absol. So cool! I bet he could have leant Surf! But sadly I had caught Water Type here.

Undella Town

I decided to quickly check out the Marine tunnel here. But a crazy old guy on cocaine refused to let me pass by. I didn’t want to aggravate him too much so I moved on.

Route 13

This route featured some more beautiful scenery including a lovely back drop of cliffs against ocean beaches. It was beautiful. What wasn’t beautiful was the massive level spike that was quite literally hurting me.
The trainers here weren’t that interesting either, but I did come into contact with a crazy fisherman armed with a Vapoureon.
“Look what I caught!” He gloated!
“Actually you cannot capture Vapoureon in the wild, let alone with a fishing rod” I informed him before Duke Knott ingested it.

A little way along one of the beeches I came across a house. Strange, I thought, only the foolish man builds his house upon the sand. I entered and found a skin head that lived on his own with a Panpour. He then started to tell me all about how much he hated Team Plasma. Looked like I’d found Dumbass’s soul mate.

I made it off the beach and was almost at the next town when something blued jumped out at me from the trees. It was Cobalion! The legendary Pokémon who had revolted against the human race with his two friends all those years ago!
“At last Cobalion!” I shouted, “You finally present yourself to me, after all this time tracking you?” (To be honest I’d actually forgotten all about him by this point.) “Tell me Cobalion? Are you ready to die? For you may have killed hundreds of humans for Pokémon kind. But I can tell you I’ve killed hundreds of Pokémon for human kind. And I did so using Pokémon I’ve enslaved and then befriended. Does that angry you? To see everything you fought so hard for reduced to this?”
I saw the great beast lower its head to charge me; I had clearly enraged this creature.
“I’m glad you’re angry Cobalion! Because you will soon see that you are not immortal! You may have lived for hundreds of years! But I come from a place beyond the stars! Another dimension! In that sense I’m timeless!” Cobalion charged at me, “let us see who is greater, the ancient human killer or the timeless Pokémon converter?” Ember used a single Fire Punch and Cobalions head erupted in a blaze of heat before it fell dead.
“It looks like you lose Legendary.”

Lacunosa Town

All I wanted to do was find a. Pokémon Center and move to the next gym. I didn’t care much for this bland little town.
“Hi Elm Jr!” It was Useless and Professor Juniper.
“Professor, I thought you wanted me to go and talk to Dreyden. But what’s the point if you’ve followed me half way to him anyway.” I then turned to Useless “and I thought I left you at Reversal you at Reversal to die?”
“I used the HM Fly to get here,” she said clearly not listening.
“How? You don’t have any flying Pokémon!”
“Elm, Girl formally known as Bianca, come with me!” Said the Professor, “there is somebody I want you both to meet.”
She dragged us to a rundown little house, “here lives an expert on Lacunosa history. She may be able to tell us all about Team Plasma.”
Inside the house we met an old woman who told us about the Great Chasm just behind this town. She said that a meteorite was what created it and that a really powerful and ancient Pokémon who has the ability to Freeze the land and would then eat the people lived there.
After which the Professor started talking about a Hero and a guy called N and a Zekrom. To be honest I couldn’t care less, so I must have sort of zoned out.
“………and that’s why I need you to go and talk to Dreydon.” Said the Professor at last.
“I know,” I said “that’s where I was going before you interrupted me!”
Useless then cut in, “Dreyden likes to wrestle with his Pokémon!”
“And that information was almost as useless as you!” And with that I walked off. Then to my horror I saw that Dumbass was waiting for me just by the town gates, screw that! I then went back to Route to train.

To be continued…….

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

Standard

Fire Red Part 12: Uncle Buck’s Safari

The Safari Zone

 

Through the power of word and mouth (and google) I discovered that the prize for reaching the furthest point in the Safari Zone was the HM for Surf. I returned to Fushea City via the cycle route (weeeeeeeeee!) and then made my way to the front entrance.

 

“Good day sir!” Said the lady behind reception “would you like to learn the rules of the Safari Zone?”

Rules? I was not aware that this place had rules! Please continue lady.

“In this zone you only have a limited amount of time to capture Pokémon but you can’t take any of your own Pokémon with you. Don’t worry, there’s a play area where you can let them have fun.” Excellent, Jackie Chan is quite paschal to swing sets.

“Instead of Pokémon, trainers use can use bait to lure and befriend the Pokémon. And then capture them using one of our special Safari Zone balls. If you run out of time or balls your game is over and you have to come back to the reception. Understood?” I told her I did, “excellent! Then that will be 500pp please.”

500pp?! What was this?! I didn’t know why I should pay so much! My Uncle Buck owns this place you see and has a whole arcade system dedicated to it! I demanded free entry! She told me she was going to call security.

 

After spending a night in the cells for attacking the safari staff, my uncle Buck paid for my bail and gave me a free pass to his safari zone. Thanks Uncle Buck!

 

Centre zone

 

Right, I was now in the centre zone of the Safari zone, however I did not want to risk my first Pokémon being another blasted rat. So I decided to go fishing instead, the first Pokémon I hooked was a Goldeen. I tried to feed it bait but it didn’t work. Screw it I thought, I just began throwing rocks at it instead. The Goldeen wasn’t too happy about the fact that I had just blinded it with a bit of slate, so it fled back into the river as quickly as possible.

I had obviously failed in this area so I moved to the next one.

 

Area 1: West

 

There was more grass here, so I took a bit of a dive into it to see what I could find. What I came upon was one of whose two headed birds called Doduo. I threw a ball at the monster and caught it instantly. I named it Phones 4 You (because why not) and dumped it into one of the boxes.

Suddenly a large siren went off and a voice called out on a loud speaker “Come in Fat Matt your time is up!” Time up! I could not believe it! I’d only just got here. Uncle Buck, your staff better have good health insurance.

 

After a short 18 month spell at her Majesties Pleasure for nearly killing a man, I decided that it would be pointless to try and capture a creature in each zone. So instead I was just going to run as quickly as possible towards the Secret House and just hope that the timer didn’t go off beforehand.

 

It was difficult (running isn’t exactly my strong point) but I made it there just in time. But not before picking up a pair of strange Gold Teeth from the floor before.

I was given the HM as I was the only person to get to the secret house. Wait? Does this mean that I’d beaten Wanker at something?

 

I remembered that the Gold Teeth had to go to some old guy, but I’d spent so long in prison that I couldn’t remember where he lived. Oh well, it probably wasn’t important anyway.

 

Route 19

 

There was a large beach here before a vast ocean, on the beech there were a lot of sun bathers here with Water Pokémon. Jackie Chan Thunder punched them back to Davy Joneses Locker.

 

Now! Finally I could use Surf! I taught the move to my old faithful companion Blue Thing and together we sailed off into the distance.

The first Pokémon to attack us on the ocean was a blue squid thing called Tentacool. Jackie Chan hit it a bit too hard and killed it. Oh well. It looked pretty weak anyway.

Little did I know that that particular Tentacool was the first of many, hundreds in fact, wait no, Thousands! Literal, they swarmed us from every side. Jackie Chan had to stand alongside me on Blue Things back and punch the squishy things back into the sea. However I had to warn him as twice he had nearly electrocuted poor Blue Thing. He was a Water type too after all.

There were also a few people swimming in the ocean here that we battled between the tides of Tentacool.

 

Route 20

 

Guess what the first Pokémon I came across here was? Can you guess? I bet you can’t, but really give it a go. You give up? Alright I’ll tell you, but it’ll be a bit of a surprise. Ready? It was a Tentacool! Yeah, bet you didn’t see that coming did you? I caught it with a Great Ball, and named him Temple of Do (because I accidentally pressed enter instead of backspace on the naming screen.) into the box he went.

However it seems as though his friends weren’t particularly happy about it as another billion of the things then swamped us again. Jackie Chan just Thunder punched the blasted things out of the way.

Apart this there was nothing to report, only more endless oceans, Tentacool, and swimmers with Water types. Pretty standard stuff.

 

Sea foam Islands

 

After what felt like an eternity our eyes fell upon the wonderful Sea Foam Islands. These was a series of caves and caverns floating in the ocean. I would have gone around them, but for some reason thousands of sharp rocks blocked my way. It seemed as though I had no choice but to pass through the caverns.

 

I was a little worried now to be honest, I was miles away from the nearest place where I could heal my team or buy supplies. I mean sure I could have Wolvo Rat fly me to a nearby Center, but that would mean that I’d then have to go all the back along route 19 and 20 again, battling hordes of Tentacool.

 

Well there was nothing else for it; I entered down into the deep dark, watery, tunnels. Probably meaning that I would not only be attacked by Zubat , but by Tentacool as well.

 

This was a dank, dark place, stinking of salt water and fish. The 1st creature I came across here was a cuddly yellow duck called Psyduck? I really, really wanted it! It looked so frigging awesome! I threw an Ultra Ball and caught it on the 1st try. I called it Fizzgogshat, and sadly it was stored in the box. Oh how I wished I could have used it right then.

 

There were a lot of water Pokémon in these caves, including a cute little sea lion called Seel; it was cute, but nowhere near as cute as my Psyduck! (However it still won’t fill the hole left by Jeff.)

 

Deeper into the tunnels I came upon an evolved Psyduck called Golduck (which was weird as Psyduck was a golden colour and Golduck was a blue one.) I didn’t care though, as I thought that Psyduck looked much cooler by comparison anyway.

 

After wandering around these caves for what felt like hours I began to realise that I needed the HM for Strength to move a bunch of boulders. Meaning that I had to leave these caves and go back and find the old man.

Great so I had to come back this way anyway.

So until next time, if you don’t have any Poke-balls play with somebody else’s! Goodbye!

 

To be continued………

Bulbapedia Enties for all new Pokémon

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Doduo

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Psyduck

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Tentacool

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Seel

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Golduck

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

 

 

Standard

Black 2 Part 11: The Return of the Time Pigeons

Mistralton City

Stood opposite me was the famous Professor Juniper, “I want to congratulate you on your journey Elm Jr, it’s good to finally meet you in person!”
“You!” “I yelled, “You did this to me! I was happily confined to my little house! But then you had to come along and force me on this stupid journey! Why? And how did you communicate with me via my dreams? Answer me women!”
“Here that this,” she said ignoring me with a vacant expression, she handed me a powerful looking Pokeball.
“Thanks but I have lots of these already.”
“That there is a Master Ball! It will catch any Pokémon without fail!”
“Oh, well thanks.”
“Use it wisely; it’s very rare and valuable.”
“Then how did you get one?”
“Professor, are you doing okay?” A tall girl, with red pigtails and wearing a blue leotard approached us.
“Hello Skyla,” said the Professor, “Elm this is Skyla the Gym Leader, she’s the one who gave me a lift here via her plane.”
“And I can give you a lift to if you want,” Skyla said smiling at me.
“Right I’m off to visit the Calestial Tower,” said Juniper, “I’ll see you later Elm.” We watched as Professor Juniper walked off.
“Well as I see it you have two choices” said Skyla, “battle me at my Gym or follow the Professor first and do some training. See you.” Then she also left. As much as I wanted to just battle the gym and get it over with, I did really need the experience. Looked like I was going to the tower then, but first I would explore this city.

I found the airport Skyla was talking about, but apparently I couldn’t fly without permission from the Gym Leader. What is this? Why can’t I just buy a ticket? Is this Skyla some-kind of dictator of the sky’s?
Instead of flying from the airport I decided to snoop around the runways and hangers. There I found a TM for Sky Drop. This was lucky for me as there was a crazy girl who gives you drugs if you show here TMs. I know, I know, but they have to find some excuse to make you come back and play every day. This girl also has an iron in the bin, good for her! Throwing away the symbols of male suppression! Either that or she’s just brought a new one, either way I’m keeping this one.

At the bottom of the main runway was a farm where they grew crops. What kind of airport was this? There was no security, no procedures, no tickets, no waiting room, a farm land built on it and people are allowed to freely roam across the airfield. Looked like my next mission was to inform the Transport Minister. But then even he wasn’t doing a great job. There were roads everywhere in this region, full of traffic and yet I still have to walk on the little dirt roads beneath. Why not install a bus service or taxi system. I mean we live in a world where we can heal dying creatures in a matter of seconds yet can’t design an effective transport system?
Anyway, enough of this, I was now off towards Route 7 and the Calestial Tower.

Oh I also dropped the Zouras off somewhere, can’t remember exactly. Probably a skip or something.

Route 7

Right then! Some new grass, really, really long grass for that matter. Who knows what giant beasts would be hiding in here? I stepped into the grass and was met by a heavily light, for stood before me was the evolved form of Pidove, a Tranquill. I caught her and discovered that this was no ordinary Tranquill. She was the daughter of Doctor Coo, the last of the Time Pigeons. She had travelled between dimensions to assist us in our quest. Not for me, she hated me. I was the one who had led to her father being killed. No she did it for her father, for if I failed his death would have been in vain. I welcome you Doctor Coo Jr, I hope you will be a shining example of awesome just as your father was.

Wait…..it wasn’t as cold anymore and the snow was melting. It was Spring! Winter was finally over and now I might actually start to enjoy myself a bit more. Wait does that mean I missed Christmas?

The usual Route antics occurred as I made my way to the tower, trainer battles, wild Pokémon encounters etc. I did have a rotation battle against a Stoutland and two Deerling, Ember would have killed them all if the Stoutland had not used Roar and swapped him for Weedlpie. Needless to say he devoured them all. His team mates Litterman and Maid Moist weren’t even needed.
There was also an annoying breeder here, who I had to battle each time we past. I’d already battled him twice by this point.

I came upon a random house here in the middle of nowhere, inside an overweight Hiker wanted an Emolga and wanted to give me his Gigalith for one. I had no idea what a Gigalith was, but with a name like that it’s hard not to want one. He had a wife who had to Cottonee running around her, I could swear I’ve already met somebody like this.

Came up against a Triple Battle against 2 Ducklett and a Unfezant, it was up to Litterman, Maid Moist and Ember. Needless to say we won. Went back to the nearest Center to heal my team afterwards though, Forgetting about that blasted Breeder again.

My phone started ringing as I neared the tower; I answered it surprised to see that it was actually my mom calling me.
“Hi Elm are you doing okay?”
“Yes mom I’m fine,” I said both annoyed and relieved that she decided to call me.
“Well don’t forget to use the Poke Center whenever you can!” And with that she hung up……weird.
It then started raining, like really badly. Lucky for me off in the distance was a little house where I could take shelter, inside an old man showed me pictures of the 3 legendary Thunder Pokémon. I won’t waste time naming them as I doubt I’ll ever come across them in my journey, but I suppose it did explain why it was always raining.

Once the rain stopped I continued my quest to Calestial Tower, one trainer had a Deerling that nearly killed both Ember and Little Nikalum. Man! Were those cute little dears dangerous?
Then after defeating a wild Tranquil something wonderful started to happen to Maid Moist, she began evolving. Suddenly she was a beautiful, Swan like creature called Swanna. Despite her beautiful looks she was still just as timid with the boys as ever, only difference was that her and Ember had started to envy each other, with Moist jelly towards Embers confidence and Ember jelly of Moist’s looks. They were still good friends regardless though, and yes I did just use the term ‘jelly’ twice as an abbreviation of the word jealous.

A little further down the road I met a teacher who had lost one of her students, for punishment of this total lack of competence I Murdered all of her Pokémon with Nikalum. Then a little further from her I found the missing child and killed all of her Pokémon as well as punishment for disobeying her teacher.
Then something amazing started happening to Nikalum, he evolved into a giant thunder tarantula called Galvantula. He was a bit big to sit on my shoulder now so instead he just walked a long side me as I still thought he was awesome. In fact sometimes when I was board I rode on his back like a pony. Suddenly people were deadly scared of me and fled whenever I came there way screaming (one guy even went insane.) Honestly used think they’d never seen a child riding on a giant spider before.

Riding my Nikalum, at last, we came across the large, spooky, Clay tower called Calestial Tower. We entered.

Calestial Tower

This was the place where trainers came to lay there dead Pokémon. This was strange as until this point I had been releasing mine to the great Pokémon nether world. But I suppose each has their own ways and rituals involving the dead. Needless to say me and my team had probably been responsible for a lot of the Pokémon buried here so I suggested that we approach this challenge with caution.
“Hello Elm,” it was the Professor, “have you come to pay your respects?”
“No actually I came to get a bit more experience.”
“Well if I were you then, I would climb to the top of this place and investigate the large bell on the top of the tower. It is said the sound of that bell pleases the Pokémon spirits. It’ll be good training and sightseeing at the same time.” She then handed me a weird egg “take this Lucky Egg, if a Pokémon holds it it’ll gain even more experience.”
“Thanks,” I said taking it.
“I shall remain here researching Ghost Pokémon until you get your 6th Badge. Good luck.”

Well then it looked as if I was climbing this haunted tower of death. I came upon a ghostly apparition that turned out to be a little, haunted candle Pokémon called Litwick. She was so cute, so I caught her and swapped her with Doctor Coo Jr. Being put in the box just made Doctor Coo Jr hate me even more, but I really needed the type coverage.
I named the Litwick Wax On. Welcome to the team Wax On.

There were a lot of angry trainers here all from a surprisingly diverse trainer pallet. I came upon Psychics, Hikers, School Kids, Teachers and Poke-fans, but then I guess everyone was entitled to morn there dead buddies. And what’s a better way for someone to get over a dead pet then having someone kill even more of them!
One of the Psychics had a really cool Psychic cat called Espeon, dispute it being 5 levels higher, Wax on managed to defeat it. I expected great things from her.
Then another Psychic was all, “I am here to understand the end of your world.”
“I’ll destroy your world!” I screamed as we battled. A battle which was bitter sweet as I sadly lost little Wax On; I guess after it beat that Espeon I thought it was invincible. I’m sorry little buddy, I failed you. However dispute losing Wax On, the fact that Litterman finally evolved into a Garbodor almost made up for it. Oh who am I kidding; it totally made up for it! He was no longer a little trash bag, but an actually living landfill, mound of living rubbish. Disgusting but awesome.

I returned to the Center to lay Wax On to rest and bring back Doctor Coo Jr, I apologised many a time but she wasn’t having it.
But just before I released Wax On I noticed something. He had the very rare Poke-Russ disease. This was something I had never come across before in my life! So I used him to give anyone on my team the virus (it boosts stats) and then instead of releasing him I gave him up to the Global Trade Network so other trainers from around the world could take advantage of it.
You may have only been around for a short while, but hopefully your legacy will live on for generations Wax On.

Back at the tower I now found myself battling a lot of old people, near the top. Dr Coo Jr got so much experience that she then evolved into a Unfezant. What is this? You spent ages waiting for one evolution and you get 4 at once! Unfezant, was a lot like Tranquil only bigger, more elegant and with a longer neck.

I made it to the top of the tower and rang the bell……nothing happened. Well that was anti -climatic, guess I’ll just head back to Route 7 and train for a bit.

Route 7

Grinding time! At least that what I would normally say at this point, but it seems as though there was more of this route for me to explore. And explore I did.
I battled a trainer with an evolved Zubat called Golbat, it nearly killed Ember. I needed to be more careful with her, later discovered that Ember was being weakened by the heavy rainfall so it looked like I’d be doing without her for a while. This was a shame as I believe she would have been really useful in a double battle I had against two Pokémon call Zangoose and Seviper (based on the mongoose and the Viper.)
I made it to the base of a place called Twist Mountain where a big, strong muscle guy called Marshal was waiting. He told me that he was one of the Elite Four and amongst the strongest trainers in the world. He then told me I couldn’t pass this way as a tunnel had collapsed meaning it was impossible for anyone to enter the mountain.
If he’s one of the best trainers in the world answer me this, why was he standing outside a mountain informing trainers the way as closed? Couldn’t a sign have done the job? I guess he must have just been bored.
With nothing else to do I headed back to Mistralton City to tackle the gym.

Mistralton Gym

Upon entering the gym a gust of heavy wind was blown into my face and something heavy collided with me. I was surprised to see that it was the Shady Guy.
“Wow thanks Champ;” he said picking me off the floor, “I was sure I was going to be smashed against the wall then.”
“Don’t mention it,” I said “what’s the gimmick with this place then?”
“The whole place is a massive wind tunnel, and the only way to avoid being blown back like I was, is to hide behind these little barriers that have been set up whenever you feel a gust coming.”
“Oh fantastic,” I sad grinning, “More pointless obstacles.”
“Don’t forget your water!” I gladly took his water and began battling my way against both the wind and trainers. Speaking of which, all the trainers here were professional pilots, they only used Flying type Pokémon (guess what this gyms signature type is?) I would usually be pretty pedantic here and ask why they aren’t busy flying planes. But them when you consider that there was only one plane on the runway, it kind of makes sense. During my time battling Weedlpie learnt Leaf Blade and Ember learnt Lava Plume. Both of these were really cool moves.

At long last I came upon Skyla sitting at the back of the gym pretending that she enjoyed being pelted with wind every few seconds. (I could just tell she was freezing her little booty off.)
“Hi Elm how was the Professor?” She asked when I approached.
“As well as someone who spends all day in a grave yard could be I suppose.”
“Well I’m really looking forward to our battle anyway.” And with that we battled, no stupid taunts, no long winded speech, nothing. It actually felt like I was battling a really human being for once.
1st up was her Swoobat VS my Ember. I started with a Thunder Punch which did a good deal of damage; however her Swobat used the move Acrobatics and nearly destroyed my Ember in a single swift move. Ember barely managed to hold on, but lucky for me her Swoobat got burnt. So from here I just kept healing Ember with Hyper Potions every turn until the burn got too much for Swoobat and it fainted. Yeah I know it’s pretty lame but if it works I’m not complaining.
Next she sent out her Swanna, I sent out Nikalum who used the move I had learnt from Elesa, Bolt Switch. It was a one hit K.O as Swanna was cooked to death. Then because of Volt Switches ability I used it to swap to Ember, just in time for Skyla’s Skarmory; a huge, scary, metal bird of prey. Luckily Steel was weak against Fire and guess who just leant Lava Plume?
The metal bird was covered in boiling Lava, but annoyingly it had the sturdy ability. Ember used Fire Punch and BLAM! Gym battle over! Another flawless victory! Skyla then gave me a Jet Badge, a TM for Acrobatics and took me with her, as the Professor had just returned and was waiting for us at the airport.
But that’s a story for next time.

To be continued…….

Bulbapedia Entires for all new Pokémon™

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Tranquill

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gigalith

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Swanna

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Galvantula

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Litwick

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Espeon

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Garbodor

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Unfezant

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Zangoose

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Seviper

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Swoobat

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Skarmory

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

Standard

Fire Red Part 11: the Big Boss

Route 18

This was a cycle route, so I needed my bike in order to access this area. Only problem is that this whole Route was up hill. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste all those precious carbs I’d just ingested.

Before I tackled the mighty hill, there was a little patch of grass here with a group of bird trainers in deep conversation (something about seeds.) I quickly defeated all there Pokémon, including some weird looking bird thing called Doduo, which had two heads for some reason.
I then proceeded to look for a new team mate, what I found was a Raticate! Oh Nibbils. I really did not wish to insult the memory of one of my friends, but at the same time I really needed somebody to learn Cut. That way I’d be able to get rid of the horrible murderer taking up a space on my team.
In another world I may have started to feel sorry for Jessie, I mean she didn’t know what she was doing at the time. And now everything is so much stronger than her, she now just hides and cowers from everything. To which I say GOOD! Steal my Alien from me will you! I hope you suffer!
What…oh right the Raticate. Sadly Jackie Chan killed it with a match punch. Shame. But then I guess it would have been a little insulting to Nibbils to replace him so early.

Now I decided to tackle the big hill. One heart attack latter I was rushed via helicopter to Caledon hospital, there I underwent an intensive three month recovery program in order to get me on my feet again. In that time all of my Pokémon had to get jobs in order to pay for my hospital bills (free health care for Pokémon, not people in Kanto it seems.)

Route 17

Once I was recovered I decided to tackle the cycle Route again, except this time I did so by going downhill as opposed to uphill. But then I’d forgotten about the huge sleeping Snorlax blocking my route. I woke it up using the Poke flute and battled it with my Snorlax, Fat Matt 2. Once it was weakened I threw my Ultra Ball at it and once it was caught I named him Laxative. Now I had a replacement Snorlax if ever Fat Matt 2 went to the great buffet in the sky.

Route 18

Well I was at the top of the hill now, it was such a shame that the Hells Angels were here waiting for me. All of them with really annoying poison types including another horrible Weezing which poisoned everyone. Great, now I remembered why I didn’t want to do this anymore.

Once the Hells Angels had been dealt it with it was time to go down the hill. Wheeeeeeeee!!!! The wind in my hair, cooling the sweat patches under my arms, oh it was fun. That was until I crashed into another member of the Hells Angels, oh kind sir! Please don’t rape me!
The Hells Angel challenged me to a Pokémon battle, at the end of which Fat Matt 2 had only 12 hp remaining. Phew.

At the bottom of the hill I just realised that this area was a total waste of my time. But then I suppose I did catch another Snorlax and got some experience. I entered the grass down here and came across another Raticate. Oh great Pokémon gods, why do you taunt me so. I miss my poor Nibbils enough as it is. But then again, I don’t miss him quite as much as Jeff. Oh Jeff…..excuse me I need a moment……

Saffron City

This town was still under siege by the Rockets. Right I was sick of this; I was going to find the source of these villains and drive them out of Saffron once and for all!
I discovered that the reason that the Rockets had such a firm hold on this city was because they had taken control of the Silph Co building in the centre of the town.
Right them, it was time to save the town from a terrorist group, don’t bother with the swat teams, people of Saffron. Because a small, over weight child who throws small metals balls at people is here to save you

Silph Co Building.

I found myself in a large, empty, reception area. Strange, I thought, there was no sign of the Rockets here. I moved towards the stairs and climbed up to the next floor. And there were the Rockets. Lots and lots of Rockets.
“Oh hell! It’s that kid again!” They screamed.
“Right! This time we won’t let him intimidate us with legal red tape!”
“Yeah! I mean we practically own this town now! We are the law!”
“Let’s get him!”
And thus I was then thrown in to a horrible maze, of office cubicles, locked rooms, elevators and Team Rocket Grunts. To make matters even worse, a number of Silph Co researchers had decided to join the Rockets. Meaning that I had even more of these idiots to battle.
Jackie Chan was nearly killed by a self-destructing Volturb (that’s twice that’s happened now) and Kill Wanker finally learnt a fire move (Fire Spin) it was very weak, but at least it actually matched up to his type.

“Are you here to help us?” Asked one of the frightened people working here after Kill Wanker obliterated one of the Rockets teams.
No not really, I’m really just doing this to help myself, anybody else I save though I suppose is an added bonus.
Most of the doors here were locked by some magnetic system. I was told by one of the scientists, who had gone over to the Rockets side, that I needed a special key to open them and that one of the head Rocket grunts had it.
So by that logic only one person could open these doors? And so every person hidden behind them has been locked in, even the grunts. Wow Team Rocket has gotten really cruel.
It didn’t take me long to find this head grunt on account of him saying “I’m a Rocket head grunt!” Upon meeting him. Was he any more difficult than the others? Well, he had a Golbat unsteady of a Zubat, which was a bigger version of Zubat with eyes. But asides from that he was pretty weak.
After defeating him he then (for some reason) dropped his key on the floor.
“Oh no I dropped the key!” We both just stood staring at it for a while. Before I asked him if he was going to pick it up.
“Well, if you think that I should! But, well it’s all the way down there! If only a young strapping lad could bend down and get it for me.” I had Blue Thing downed him.

I was now able to use the key to access other parts of this building where people could kill me. It was business as normal until I opened one door and came upon a juggler. A juggler? Why the heck was there a juggler here? I asked him.
“Well you see Team Rocket are quite paschal to a bit of entertainment so I follow them, providing them with juggling shows and stuff. Are you a friend of the Rockets?”
I told him I mostly just launch forms at them.
“In that case I’m afraid you will have to die,” he then sent out a strange, almost human looking, mime Pokémon called Mr Mime.
It then started dancing and making walls out of air. It was pretty awesome, such a shame that Kill Wanker had to Hyper Beam it.

I was getting close to the top of this place; I could feel it when I heard a voice.
“Well if it isn’t Fat Matt!” Wanker! What could he be doing here at the Silph Co building?
“I saw you earlier and decided to follow you. What are you doing taking on the Rockets? I guess there the only group of people who are more pathetic then you!”
Oh I hated this man; luckily this was the moment that I had been training Kill Wanker for.
“Anyway I decided that killing your Pikachu and Diglett wasn’t enough to avenge my Raticate. So here I am to finish the rest of you off. Come on Fat Matt; let’s see if you’ve gotten any stronger!”
The monster! This is for you Jeff! It’s always been for you! Oh and you too Turd and Hard Arms, (bet you forgot about him.)
First up, as usual, it was Pidgeot VS Pidgeot, with my Wolvo Rat taking down and destroying his with its Fly attack. Then came his Kadabra, only this time it had evolved into a superior Alakazam. It was taller and slimmer now, with a larger moustache and brandishing two spoons instead of one. I knew that this thing had a high attack, yet low defence so I quickly had Wolvo Rat dive bomb the thing with Fly. Lucky for me it was too busy raising its stats so it died instantly.
“Think you’re pretty good don’t you Fat Matt? We’ll check out my new Pokémon!”
I was a little worried by the revelation of a new Pokémon, but found myself holding back laughter when I discovered it to be little more than a basic Growltihe.
I switched to Fat Matt 2 and had him crush it with his might girth.
“Try standing next to your Snorlax Matt! It makes it look thinner by comparison!” Wanker taunted angrily.
Next came the giant serpent, and one of Wankers best Pokémon, Gyarados. Lucky for me I had Jackie Chan to switch to, who Thunder Punched it straight back to hell with its 4 times weakness to Electric.
Finally, Wanker sent out his ultimate, starter, zombie Pokémon. Only now it had evolved into a Venusaur.
“You can’t stop my sleep powder Fat Matt,” maybe I couldn’t but my Fat Matt 2 could. Once asleep he used his Snore move to whittle down the creatures health. Took an awful lot of Moo Moo Milk to keep him alive though.
“No way!” Screamed Wanker, “how do you beat me every time?” Because I have lots of potions my friend.
“It doesn’t matter; you’ll still be beaten by the Boss of Team Rocket. Smell you later!” And with that Wanker left to bring his creatures back to life. It wasn’t until later I realised that Kill Wanker wasn’t used once in that battle?

“Excuse me; will you please look after this Lapras for me?” I said no as I already acquired Jackie Chan from this city.
Right up to the Rocket Boss I go!

I found a lot more performance enhancing drugs here; I fed them all too Fat Matt 2. If ever the Pokémon League ran a drugs test I’m screwed. With all the junk of been feeding Fat Matt and Blue Thing. I guess I’ll just replace there urine samples with Kill Wankers.

After climbing all those stairs I bet I was 2 stone lighter. I was mentally preparing myself for my battle with the Boss. Then after beating him I shall become the Big Boss and form my own army outside of Team Rocket. And then I will take part in a cloning process and have 3 sons of my own. Two of them will be twins and they will grow up rivals and fight each other. Possible on top of a 100 ton War Machine. Then one of them will die from some form of heart attack, only to come back as LIQUIDS ARM!?!
But before that I’ll have to beat the boss. I entered into the large office situated here on the top floor.
“Well if it isn’t Fat Matt!” I was shocked! It was the Casino Owner! He was the one responsible for all of this? Behind him the head of Silph Co, an old portly gentleman, was looking particular scared and worried.
“I was just discussing some important business details with the head of Silph Co here,” he said menacingly.
But I was confused, why had this man not been arrested by trading standards for multiple health and safety and fire code regulations hazards and violations? And where was the real boss? Because I have a future which I just planned out climbing the stairs, which in no way resembled Metal Gear Solid.
“I am the Boss Fat Matt, and I’m sad to say that I can no longer allow you to continue pestering my organisation! Law suits or no law suits!” He sent out his first Pokémon an armour plated ryno called Rhyhorn, Blue Thing killed it. Then he sent out a Nidorino, Blue Thing killed it. He followed that with a large Kangaroo, bear thing called Kangaskhan, Fat Matt 2 killed it. He ended with a large blue monster which was the queen of the Nidos, called Nidoqueen. Fat Matt 2 killed it……..well that was easy.
“Blast! Beaten by this kid again! How can this be so?” I asked him if he had signed in a reception and acquired a visitor’s pass. He said he had not, in which case I informed him that he was trespassing and would have to vacate the premise.
“Fine! I’m leaving. Curse you kid! Curse you and all your Red Tape! But mark my words Team Rocket will rise again!” And with that Team Rocket left Silph Co and Saffron for good. In fact I didn’t see much of Team Rocket after this. I guess that Trading Standards must have finally caught up with them, either way it kind of made me sad. I had spent so long hassling the guys I kind of began to feel bad about it. I mean they weren’t the most Competent of organisations, in fact one could argue they were, downright a disgrace to organised crime. But in the end they had managed to single handily capture a whole city……only to be defeated by a small child.

Anyway, the head of the company was so happy he gave me a Master Ball. A Pokeball that can catch anything without fail. Great! Can’t wait until I waste it on a Rattata.
Anyway with Rocket gone the gym was now finally open so I left Silph Co, healed my team and headed for my 6th badge.

Saffron Gym

The gym was very strange, it was all weird and out of this worldly. I did not like it. Plus it was made up of hundreds of tiny rooms, each one without an entrance. The only way in was to step on these annoying panels, that by some evil magic warp up you too another room.
I stepped on the first one and was warped straight into an ambush by a crazy magic guy and his Slowbro. Think of a Slowpoke only with a crazy shell on its tail.
I spent a good while lost in this place, being ambushed by magic men. To be honest the gym was actually fairly easy in a battling sense of things. Jessie evolved into a Persian. A big, strong, looking feline on all fours. I still refused to use her.
In the end I just ended up using Fat Matt 2 to bowl over this gym, metaphorically and physically. He was so psyched up on Drugs it was awesome; I was really starting to like this guy dispute him blocking my progress throughout the first half of my adventure. I loved him, but not as much as I had loved my Jeff.

Eventually I found Sabrina; she was a scary, but pretty young lady with incredible Psychic powers.
“I knew you were coming,” gasp, I thought her powers are beyond comparison, “I heard your large, clumsy footsteps pounding around my gym. That and the screams of dying Pokémon. Let us battle.”
I’ll give you a low down of the battle. 1st up was a Kadabra, Fat Matt 2 used Body Slam and flattened it.
2nd was a Mr Mime, Fat Matt 2 used Body Slam and flattened it.
3rd was a Venomoth, Fat Matt 2 used Body Slam and flattened it.
And finally Sabrina used an Alakakzam. Come guys say it with me, Fat Matt used Body Slam and flattened it.
I’ll admit, it wasn’t the most exciting of Gym matches, but then I had given Fat Matt all those Carbos so his speed was incredibly high. Quite frankly I’m preety certain he was now invincible.
“Well,” said Sabrina stunned, “I’ll admit I didn’t see that coming. Okay fine here’s your badge and TM. Now leave me to wipe my beloved Pokémon off the floor.”
Well that was a fun if slightly uneventful week, I now just need to figure out how to Surf so I can make my way to the next Gym. I left the gym, hoped on my bike and started visiting every town and settlement, talking to as many strangers as possible until I found out. Until next time…..

To be continued……..

Bulbapedia entries for all new Pokémon

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Doduo

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Golbat

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Alakazam_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Venasaur

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Rhyhorn_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Nidorino

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Kangaskhan_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Nidoqueen

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Slowbro

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Mr_Mime

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Venomoth_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

Pokémon™ is owned by Nintendo, Creatures Inc. and Game Freak Inc.

Standard